100! And done. Kind of.

So, folks, this, fortuitously (or maybe just interestingly), turns out to be my 100th post. 

I am not actually quitting, but I am switching blog sites. While I enjoyed The Last 300 Days, when I started this blog it was intended to be a run down of the horrors of the last 6 months of the Bush Administration. Unfortunately, I never got around to it and it ended up being a comment about the last month of the Presidential Election and not much about Bush anyway. 

But I do sort of enjoy the title, so I kept it going, but now I feel it is time for something else. And to be honest, after rereading a lot of this crap I'm a little embarrassed by some of it and a little distance never hurt anyone.  Anyway, onward and upward, join me at my new, more appropriately titled blog, Drunk and Doomed. See you there.

Anyway...

Is that a pea under my mattress?

(I'm writing a lot about Palin, but bear with me, it's a big day for her, and thusly, For America!) So, really, this was the money shot from Sarah's parting speech, "Democracy depends on you, and that is why... that is why our troops are willing to die for you. So, how about, in honor of the American Soldier, you quit making things up."

Ahhh.. media bashing, self-pitying, jingoistic, and divisively patriotic; Sarah at her best! 

But this is really the sort of thing that has always driven me nuts about Sarah. Nobody flings red meat as naturally and unselfconsciously as Sarah Palin, and yet she's amazed when people take shots at her. (I love it, the woman on Hardball just called it a Defensive Speech, does she give any Other kind?)

www.conservatives4palin.com is doing Sarah's complaining for her. Recently Sarah wrote an Editorial slamming cap & trade in the Washington Post. Media Matters made a video slamming her for putting forth idiotic environmental policies in a public forum. This is apparently beyond the pale as Sarah is now a 'private citizen,' Media Matters is encouraged to 'stay classy'. So, a public figure makes a public statement and is publicly criticized and this is beyond the pale? And this is right after they call David Axelrod an idiot (see post below) for ignoring the most 'popular Republican' out there. So which is it? Why wouldn't you attack her if she's a threat? Or is she not a threat? Or she's a threat, but she's a private citizen who does public stuff, but you can't criticize her. Jeez. My head hurts.

You know, back during the election, and Hillary pissed me off more than once, but she did put up with Way more shit than I recall Sarah ever subjected to, before or since (and yes, I'm taking into account the Letterman flap).  Just one memorable example, a group was formed to combat Hillary's nomination, they were called Citizen's United, Not Timid. I'll leave it to you to work out the acronym. Stay classy, indeed.

Anyway...

Living on a Prayer

So, I've been dropping by www.conservatives4palin.com on occasion these days. It's awesome, the comments particularly are deliciously delusional.

Now, I know you should never say never, and I'm not exactly saying Never, but I do think Sarah has permanently screwed herself here, at least if she's thinking she'd look good in the Oval Office. I know that nothing will shake the belief of her ardent supporters (see the aforementioned comments), but the fact is Sarah came off looking like an idiot in the campaign and it wasn't because of the 'liberal' media. The fact is the entire Republican Machine was blocking for her during the campaign. I have to say anyone that thinks she could make it through a Republican Primary is, well, not delusional, but they are certainly thinking wishfully. Remember, these are people (cough, cough, Rove) who suggested that McCain's adopted African child was really a bi-racial love child he had with... one of his slaves?

The point being that during a national campaign, you can list something as stupid as being able to see Russia from Alaska as a foreign policy credential and no one but SNL will call you out on it. You say something like that on stage at a Republican Primary, well, forget it. You're done. Those guys are sharks, and Sarah, despite the furor of her followers, just does not pull that much water. And Sarah doesn't even have to say anything More, the Katie Couric interviews (again, I'm sorry, very soft) would give any political spinmeister worth a goddamn more than enough material.

The other day David Axelrod stated that he doesn't think about Palin and her future. I suspect because he knows she's done, whether she wants to be or not. Of course, her followers would never accept that, they think she's still going to hand Obama his ass in 2012, but that's what followers are for.

Anyway...

Quitters never... Oh, whatever.

Holy snot! I have not blogged in forever, even by my standards. Well, let me ease back into the groove slowly and easily, and that means only one topic.

Yes, folks, Sarah Palin has resigned. You may have heard. She is giving up her elected post in order to fight for the people of Alaska in a way that can only be done by giving up a post which would help her fight for the people of Alaska, but she needs the free time to... umm.. better help her constituents? Yes, it doesn't make a goddamned bit of sense, but that's our girl!

So, tonight on Countdown they ran a montage of Sarah's greatest hits. I started writing a whole essay on my feelings of Sarah, but I'll try to keep this short, as nothing I was saying was particularly insightful or unique. But, Jesus, what a train wreck.

Let me just say, I am still overcome with relief that this woman was not one Feeble Old Man Heartbeat away from the Presidency. And I am also still, slightly, Angry at that old man for putting her in that position. 

I understand Sarah's appeal to certain people in this country. She is charismatic, and, I believe, fairly obviously a devout Christian. If that's what you care about, if that's All you care about, and there are plenty of people that vote their faith, then Sarah is your girl. 

But she was also clearly over her head. Some people out there think Barack is over his head, which is fine, but believing that doesn't all the sudden make Sarah qualified in any way. Sarah Palin was George W. Bush in a dress with a tendency to wink inappropriately. She clearly did not understand governing, and how no desire to learn; she clearly does not understand the limits of her own power, even as Governor she clearly didn't get it, imagine her in the Cheney Chair; and she was clearly willing to alienate Half the fucking country to get the others whipped up like the home team at a fucking football game. 

Thanks for the entertainment, Sarah, I'm glad we collectively sent your ass back to the tundra.

Anyway...

The Pussies...

So, I believe it was Will Rogers who said, "I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat." 

Boy if that ain't the fucking truth. Anyway, the Daily Show highlighted this tonight, and I was glad to see it, but I thought I would put in my two cents. 

So, the Democrats have decided to not back their Party Leader (you know, The President. Republicans don't have this problem.) Apparently, closing Gitmo is just Not worth the money and/or trouble.  All of this smacks of caving into the current Republican Hysterics about how we somehow can not house Dangerous Terrorists on American Soil. 

All the jokes have really been made (thank you, Mr. Stewart), but really America, if we do one thing well, it's locking people up. We have one of the highest Incarceration rates in the World if not the highest. Hell, we Locked up All the Japanese during WWII.  Do you think THAT was easy? No, but goddamn it when we trample Civil Rights in this country We Do it Right, goddammit.  

However, I like Steven Benen's take on this. So, all the Repub bitching is clearly political, so let's say that a McCain had won and He was trying to shut down Gitmo and Nancy Pelosi was making a stink. What would the arguments from Limbaugh, Hannity and Co. be like? Well, they aren't hard to predict. Here's a taste, click the link for more.

-- Democrats believe in the midst of two wars and an ongoing terrorist threat, national security decisions should be made by 535 lawmakers instead of the Commander in Chief. 

(Boy, that DOES sound fucking familiar.) Again, it's not HARD to debate these idiots, someone just has to DO it.

Anyway...

The Cowards...

Hello all, been awhile, but I have a lot to say, so let's see if I can stay sober enough, long enough to get it all out.

So, for the last couple days, Jesse "The Gov" Ventura has been making the rounds on all the talk shows. And, not really being a fan, he's spectacular.  I really and truly do not care about Jesse. I thought it was a bit ridiculous that he was elected Governor. It was much more a comment on the ridiculous state of politics (and perhaps the insanity of Minnesotans (or whatever the hell they call themselves)).  

Anyway, as I was saying, apparently Jesse has a book out and he's been going around making the talk show stops and it's pretty impressive. Jesse is just going toe-to-toe with a few of these right-wing jack-ass idiots and their bully-pulpits on the tube. He went after that idiot Hasslebeck on the View, he went after Fucking Idiot Hannity, and, my personal favorite, he went after this douchebag I've never heard of on Fox and Friends. 

The thing is I don't find Jesse a particularly brilliant debater in any of the interviews. He basically says the same OBVIOUS things over and over again. 

1) Waterboarding is torture. Jesse has been waterboarded as a part of his SERE training in the SEALs. I don't know if any of you know any SEALs, but in the strictly Republican version of 'real' men... SEALs Are Real Men. So, shut the fuck up and listen to Jesse.

2) America does NOT FUCKING TORTURE. Or at least we didn't before the Bush nightmare. Now, this is highly debatable, as America has had it's fair share of absolutely horrendous policies both domestic (slavery, Indian genocide) and foreign (let's not even go there), but to set up a Government Torture Policy and to try to Justify it by law... well, I think many of us hoped we were past this. Thanks, George!

3) We are a country that Supposedly obeys the Rule Of Law, and this is really the main point of point Number 2 up there. We have agreed that Torture is against the Law. We've prosecuted the Japanese for things like Waterboarding. Supposedly everyone is subject to the Law in this country (well, we know that's Bull Shit, but still...). 

4) Just because Cheney and Yoo SAY something is Legal Doesn't Make it FUCKING Legal. That's for a court to decide with, what's the word, a JUDGE. Or at least we need Congressional Approval. I mean, Hell, I work at a Law Firm. If we could just Write Briefs and call them legal, well, that'd make things a lot easier on the attorneys.  Just because you take a Shit Sandwich and call it Fried Chicken doesn't make it so.

What's really depressing is that this Proves that it's not Hard to debate these people, you just have to be Tenacious and Loud enough to do it, because they all argue with Volume not Facts. And Jesse is nothing if not Tenacious and Loud. 

So, sorry, this went a little long, but it REALLY pisses me off. This is a ridiculous 'debate', and the only reason it's going on is because a Big part of our current media are these Right-Wing cowards that coddle this shit.  Watch the Hannity clip where he's talking about the Evil People flying Planes into our Buildings. You can practically Hear the piss running down his leg and pooling in his shoes.

Christ, I don't want to die at the moment, particularly by some fuck killing for Allah (or Jesus or Oil or Whatever), but how Debased are people willing to be?

I hate all these spineless fucks so much. God Bless you, Jesse. Preach on, Brother.

Anyway....

Now he gets it...

So, on Fridays I enjoy reading Bill O'Reilly's column in the NY Post. Enjoy is probably the wrong word, but I am a bit of an intellectual Masochist and Bill-O is certainly skilled in delivering migraine inducing pain. 

Occasionally, however, I actually do agree with Bill-O. He is not always insane, he does have a bit of a common-sense/populist streak that allows him to occasionally say something that makes sense. On these occasions I always feel a little dirty and disappointed as I am Much more comfortable disagreeing with O'Reilly. Plus, when I disagree it usually means a blog post. 

So, you may imagine my disappointment when Bill's column from last Friday (yes, I'm behind) was entitled something like, "Give Obama a Break." I couldn't find the original title, but I did find the article reposted under the title "Obama Derangment," which is almost as good.

The thrust of the article is this, Bill-O participated in the wide-spread and ridiculous practice of 'grading' the President's first 100 days using, well, grades.  If you read the article, you'll know, but to reiterate for the lazy (which I understand), Bill-O gave Obama a "B" in Domestic Policy, a "C" in Foreign Policy (not a big fan of the "Apology Tour" is Bill-O) and a "C+" for Leadership... whatever the hell that means.

Now, marks like these aren't exactly going to get you into Harvard, but I have to hand it to Bill, for being a guy who is Largely in the tank for the Republicans, and a guy who regularly speaks to Glenn Beck without murdering him, these are pretty good grades.  

So, what was the response from Bill's audience? Well, naturally he got a lot of hate mail. One person apparently thought Bill had Lost His Mind (Only NOW you think this?) because "Obama deserved 'Fs' across the board." 

Bill-O then goes on for a fairly eloquent couple paragraphs about how fairness and restraint are cornerstones of American Democracy and Society. It is a very good point. HOWEVER, one can not help but notice, and perhaps even point out to Bill, THESE ARE YOUR PEOPLE!! 

Bill has made a Living demonizing 'liberals' and anyone else he happens to disagree with. He has Glenn "Obama is a Nazi" Beck on his show every other fucking day. How Unaware can you be? Seriously? You can't feed people on hate and intolerance for Years and then sit back in astonishment when they suddenly display Hate and Intolerance. 

The thing is Bill won't change his ways, he doesn't see the need. He will just boggle at the intolerance of his constituents while he continues to rant about the ACLU and Code Pink and ACORN and whatever "Pinhead" he decides to call out that week. 

Part II  (Forgive me, this is a long post.) 

So, this ties into another thing I was thinking of. While I honestly do believe that a lot of these crazies actually do believe the shit they shovel, they are, in their own way, in a bit of a psychological cage. Let's take Rush as an example. He has for years blamed every single problem in America on the Liberals. Now, this is patently false, but a) Rush Believes it (yes), and b) Even if he Decided he didn't, there's NOTHING he could do (except retire and live out his life in comfort and ease from his amassed fortune.. That MOTHER FUCKER). He has got his own audience so worked up over Liberals, that if he changed his schtick he would lose his audience. 

I honestly don't think they can bring their own audience back from the edge. Take the people writing Bill-O. Bill did something perfectly reasonable (I Know!). He gave moderate grades to a President he does not like after a Very short period of time. Compared to the idiots out there calling for Secession this is ridiculously fair behavior. Now, did his audience respect him enough to give his arguments a chance? Did his audience just let this obviously ridiculous exercise pass? No, he, BILL O'REILLY, got enough hate mail he decided to write a whole column about Obama Derangement Syndrome.  Now, given Bill-O I would postulate that only One hate letter (from a Republican) would be enough to set him off, but I suspect it was much more than that. 

I'm sure that not everyone that watches Bill-O or listens to Rush or whoever is a crazy. But I'm fairly certain that there is a Large segment of this population that is Convinced that Liberals are going to burn the world down and use the bodies of the Conservatives to stoke the flames. And while Bill and Rush and Coulter perhaps did not Start these ideas they sure as hell are keeping them aflame with plenty of fuel of their own. 

But you know, Fairness is the cornerstone of our society.

Anyway....

Stop or My President will Torture!

Wow. So I haven't blogged in near a month. Hope it's worth the wait. I've learned from a couple posts (egad) that I really should only do this when I'm in the mood and have something to say, otherwise it's just embarrassing. Ok, enough of this. 

So, over the last couple of weeks various right-wing nut jobs have been bending over backwards to defend the Torture practices of the Bush Administration. Here is Adam Brodsky with just one example. There are others, Rich Lowry weighed in about a week ago also in the Post, and continual Jack-Ass Charles Krauthammer also had something to say.

This all makes me sick. The arguments are all so infuriating and hateful that I go into a blind rage every time I read one of these fucking idiots and their bullshit. 

First, and this was the thrust of Rick Lowry article, is that our torture just isn't that bad. You know, Compared to Iran, compared to Terrorists (whichever country they may be stationed). So... let me understand. We aren't as bad as psychopaths? THAT'S your fucking argument? I listen to these idiots talk about American Exceptionalism all the time and Most would rather swallow a Hemlock and Tonic before deigning to compare themselves to ANYONE let alone these Fucking Psychos. But Since some people out there cut off Heads, well, I guess we can do whatever we want as long as nobody ends up headless. Dead, well, shit happens, but at least you're buried with your head attached. 

Another popular theme is the Ticking Time Bomb. This is a very popular theme. It seems largely to be inspired by shows like '24' and all the Die Hard and Lethal Weapon movies. Obviously this scenario is ubiquitous in Action movies, but many experts (i.e. people who do NOT base decisions on Television shows) say it never occurs in real life. 

But if we want to apply Fictional Solutions to Real Life problems, let me take a crack.  Conservatives love to point to the "Dark Knight" movie, where Bush is the Batman character. Brooding (in Rightwing World Bush broods), misunderstood, making the tough choices to Save Us All. However, if you've Seen the movie the Torture Doesn't Work. He drops that Gangster off the building and the gangster won't roll on the Joker because he's more scared of the Joker than Batman. Then in another scene Batman beats the Shit out of the Joker and the Joker laughs in his face and doesn't give up Anything until it's too late. So, in two scenes, Batman totally loses it and gives into his worst and most base instincts and it gives him Nothing of value. (I will admit this movie is often also used to justify Warrantless Wiretapping and that bit does actually work out ok for The Batman.)

However, I suspect that Torture in the real world works more like the scene from "Bolt." The movie is pretty hilarious, so I don't want to ruin, but this is a serious topic. So, in the scene, Bolt (a dog) is convinced that Cats, All Cats, are involved in a Vast Conspiracy against Dogs led by the nefarious Green Eyed Man. So, Bolt grabs this stray cat and dangles her over a bridge. Now, Bolt is clearly not looking at the world quite right and the cat is quite innocent and she loudly proclaims her innocence while dangling over oncoming traffic.  The cat quickly figures out that Bolt is Never going to believe that she doesn't know anything, after all she's a lying cat, so the cat changes her story and tells Bolt that she'll take him to the Green Eyed Man if he just doesn't drop her. Hilarity ensues.

So, to understand the current torture debate, reread the previous paragraph, but where it says Bolt/Dog read "Right-wing Pundit"; Cat read "Muslims"; and where it says Hilarity read "fucking psychotic and degrading party-wide pants-shitting festival" and you pretty much get the idea.

Anyway...

The Sixth (and Seventh) Sense

So, I feel a little sorry for some of these people trying to work their way through modern society without a sense of humor or, possibly more importantly, a sense of Irony. How do you make it through modern society without understanding Irony? 

(Shit. I was going to write about Bill O'Reilly, but I realize that intro really works better with this other thing, so I'll do that.)

Anyway, once again, Steve Bennen is on top of the modern world's new great irony ignorer, Karl Rove. But really Karl is just a part of the problem with current conservative commentary.

Now, a lot of this is revealed by how all the current Republican Senators and congresspersons and such are disavowing the Bush Administration. They have been relegated to the Political Wilderness for Abandoning Their Principles. Egad. The Horror..... The Horror....

So, for those not keeping track, Republicans putting a political spin on the White House (and really everything) fine. Democrats, Worst Thing Ever.

Running up a deficit, Republicans, that's fine (You know, when you're in power it's just So Hard to not "abandon your principles"); Democrats (even if largely to clean up the previous mess), bad.

Former Republican V.P. Criticizing the current administration in all sorts of heinous ways, Including, "making the country less safe". Well, that's A-Ok. CURRENT V.P. pushing back at his, quite possibly insane (judgement call) predecessor, Sacrilegious and unprecedented.

Ok, does everyone understand how this works now? I assure you there is a pattern. Thanks, Karl. You fuck.

Anyway...

People who want your destruction..

So, I'm watching this new "The Ed Show" on MSNBC and I guess the guy hosting is supposed to be a liberal and maybe he is, I've only been watching for 5 minutes, but in those 5 minutes this show is a bit of a train wreck. First, he's got two low-level (because I haven't heard of them, so they must be low level) right-wing (presumably talk-radio) hacks against himself (who isn't really commenting) and Al fucking Sharpton. 

Now, I don't mind Al, I mean, he's clearly egomaniacal, but who isn't in that business.  However, the problem is I don't think he's taken too seriously by anyone and, I don't want to say he's outclassed, but he's just not holding his own on airtime. Every time he says something the reaction is, "Oh, of course AL is saying THAT," and these fucking gasbags sit there with their smug fucking we're-right-and-we-don't-need-"polls"-or"facts" smiles. Few things on this planet are more annoying than a Conservative fucking windbag smirking at something He Just Knows is false and that anyone casually acquainted and semi-respectful of Facts knows is true.

(Mystery solved, the smug idiots with the Rev. are Heidi Harrison and Lars Lawrenson (egad, these are names? Why not just go as Ken and Barbie, ok?))

So, anyway, Heidi says, "You cannot argue with people who want your destruction. You can not reason with them, you can not talk to them." You know, that's Exactly how I feel about conservatives right now, but you know, you still talk to them, because what else can you do? 

But really, how do you argue with people that Refuse to engage you in honest, intelligent conversation? You really can't.  Here is an example of exactly the level of discourse I saw tonight on that show, and I must reiterate, this is a NEWS network:

If you say, "After a tragically misguided and ill-conceived war against Iraq and several years of a diplomatic stance that, whether our fault or not, has obviously alienated the rest of the world, Barack Obama's main goal in the recent G-20 was to try to present a more understanding and open face of America to the world. I think ultimately this will make people more sympathetic to us and, for the big picture, make everyone more agreeable to our point of view, but also, make it harder for Terrorist groups to continue to use our own actions to drum up hate against us."*

And they respond, "You know, that sounds just like what the Chamberlain said right before Hitler crammed his Nazi dick between that appeaser's ass cheeks, you pinko-hippy."**

Well, you can't really have a dialogue there, now can you?

Anyway....

*Basically what Big Al said.

** Basically what those other two fucks said.

Ha. That is so funny. No really.

So, and I'm not going to provide links, which I like to do, but every so often you hear a conservative commentator Whining about the Daily Show saying they are bowing down to Obama. Well, this little clip  I think should disabuse that notion. 

The fact is that the Daily Show is Very Hard on Obama, not as hard as it was on Bush, perhaps, but that is not the Daily Show's fault. You see, Bush was a greater font of political mockery than Obama could ever be. In laymen's terms, Bush was a bumbling, at best dyslexic, at worst semi-retarded, Fuck; Obama is just a narcissist who thinks he can heal the world. Which is to say, a potential good President.

But the fact is, the Daily Show is unabashedly liberal, but they are fair. And they are consistently funny over all the years I've watched them. And why they are funny is this; they, for the most part, speak truth to power. It is cliche, but it is true.

A couple years ago, Fox "News" tried to have their own Daily Show. It was called the Half-Hour News Hour. Aside from ripping off their title from HBO's Half-Hour Comedy Hour, it was a rip-roaring failure. Why? Because they Had An Agenda. Now, you can have Beliefs and be funny. I even believe you can have Conservative beliefs and be funny (see P.J. O'Rourke's early books). But you can't be shilling for a political party and be funny. Why?

Because humor has to be true. It is the truest of entertainment. Laughter is a visceral reaction and it either happens or it doesn't. There is a reason why the best humor always bubbles up from the under-classes. There is a reason why when you are an outsider watching the MC at a black-tie event, you NEVER Laugh......

So, you know what, you Conservative commentators. Fuck you. The Daily Show is what it was and hopefully will continue to be, a giant middle finger at the establishment, a lone voice laughing in the darkness. And I don't care if Jon Stewart is a million are. We are taking your advertising dollars and actually spending them on FREE speech. So fuck off and make your little Lewinsky jokes. We, the People, have moved on...       Well, Most of us.

Anyway...

Rush.

Oh my lord. I almost went to sleep. I was going to pack it in. But something wouldn't let me. I put on Tom Waits, and I poured myself another vodka, and I thought about things. And I realized, I didn't write the post I'd been meaning to this whole night..

Ok, I'll direct you to this link of more successful blogger, Hilzoy talking about this ridiculous post from Andrew Klavan of the L.A. Times, again I'm paraphrasing and you NEED to read this stupid shit, but Andrew apparently thinks that Liberals are critiquing poor Rush because we Haven't Been Listening to him. He throws down the intellectual integrity gauntlet. We, us poor uniformed liberals, must put ourselves through the Limbaugh listening experience before subjecting him to any sort of derision. 

Alright. Several people have mocked this column, but I am not so proud that I'm going to avoid fresh meat. Klavan, let me explain something to you. EVERYONE LISTENS TO LIMBAUGH. 

He is part of our cultural fabric. His fat carcass is woven into the very speech that forms the quilt of our social discourse. Not being aware of Limbaugh at this point is like being unaware that the sky is blue, the grass is green, or that you are a fucking moron. It is not possible that we could not know his arguments. When I watch the news I hear him. When a major newscaster misrepresents a major liberal policy position, Limbaugh is there; When a Republican Senator claims with out fear that the privileges of the rich outweigh the poor, Limbaugh is there; When I hear that some product produced by some profit seeking corporation is killing innocents and the corporation is MIRACULOUSLY not to blame, Limbaugh is there; When I hear that Reagan is the only Politician since that Dawn of Fucking Time that did Right or Mattered, Limbaugh is there; When I hear some right-wing hack blame the poor for their own tough fucking luck, Limbaugh is there; when I suffer through some idiots racial rant only to hear him at the end proclaim he is NOT racist, Limbaugh is there; when I here the poor defend the rich in desperate and confirmed hope they will one day be among their number, Limbaugh is there. WHENEVER I hear a Modern Conservative Commentator Spew HIS/HER HATEFUL VENOM TO MILLIONS ON THE FUCKING RADIO I KNOW, LIMBAUGH IS THERE! 

How dare you, Mr. Klavan, suggest I don't know the content of Mr. Limbaugh's show? Limbaugh is everywhere. He is the festering cancerous sore on the ass of America. He is America's Hemorrhoid. He is the voice of America's itching ass-hole. How are we NOT aware of him? How do we ignore him? How? Seriously, how. I would LOVE to ignore this poisonous, cancerous Fuck. Please, enlighten me, Mr. Klavan, apparently I haven't been listening. You fuck.

Anyway....

Fuck of the Week.

So, there's this guy, Adam Brodsky and I think he might be taking the place of my favorite Pet Hate. And Goddamn it, I can't find his column On-line either. Ok, this is a good one. I'll type the fucking thing out if I have to. 

The entire thrust of Adam's column is that Obama is snuffing out hope by waging war on the rich. 

"Think about it: In Obama World, what are we supposed to "hope" For? Certainly not vast riches."

First, how fucked is this guy that the only thing to hope for in life is vast riches. Sure, I wish I was rich, rich is better than poor. But barring being rich I would hope I would enjoy the life I have, with my splendid girlfriend, my good friends, my reasonable income, my good record collection and my vodka. Vast riches? Ok, nice, but not something most of us give up All hope for if we can't achieve it. Adam, your bankrupt soul is beginning to show.

He then goes on to a whiny and complicated defense of these banking fucks that wrecked the economy.  I Really Wish I had a link to this. Seriously, Post, your website sucks and I Love you guys.

Anyway, Adam, seriously, the ONLY thing the Right has going for it right now, is the faux-populist thing you guys appropriate when trying to ram bad fiscal policy on the poor rubes. Your colors are showing through. These Wall Street guys are crooked fucks. They almost brought down Western Civilization and it still may happen. Defending them isn't doing you or anyone on your side any good. Lie low and you can continue advocating ripping off the rubes when things are better. IF things get better. 

Adam goes on,  "consider Obama's claim this week that the economy 'only works if we recognize that we're all in this together,' with 'responsibilities to each other.' He seems to be saying the fruits of one's labor must go to help others. Or that there's no need to work hard; someone else will care for you. Gee, not that's Inspirational." 

Ok, now given that Adam just spent the last couple of paragraphs defending the bankers this Truly makes him a fuck. As far as I can tell the Bankers have been relying VERY HEAVILY on the GENEROSITY of the American Fucking Tax Payer, of which I am one. Here's a tip, Adam, when the bank has to bail you out to the tune of Trillions of dollars, you are NOT fucking successful, you have indeed failed on a Massive Fucking Level.

Not to mention, that I am under the impression that Conservatives are very big into the Jesus, and forgive me, but I believe Jesus was very in to helping his struggling comrades. Meek will inherit the earth and so forth. Commie crap like that.

"'Outsized rewards' motivate. They offer something to dream about. In trying to strike gold, Wall Streeters made bets that channeled capital to where it was demanded, even if they wound up with snake eyes and dragged the nation down with them."

I'm just realizing how indicative this column is of Everything that is wrong with Conservatism right now. Look at what this idiot is saying. It's OK that Wall St. dragged the entire US down, because they had the same dream I had, namely wanting to be rich. I embrace my fellow brothers because we had the same small pathetic dream, to be Rich by Whatever Means Necessary, and if countless millions have to suffer for our dreams, well, what can you say, those snake eyes, total bitch.

He then has a couple paragraphs about how teachers are making "six-figure salaries" and why shouldn't Wall Street investors make "big bucks" if they are willing to take "big risks." You know, I actually agree with this. I know he is overstating things a bit, but yes, high-stress jobs Should be rewarded with big pay. Obviously not everyone can do these jobs, so the people that can should be rewarded. I mean, we reward people that can run fast, or sing well, why not people who know how to make the economy better?

EXCEPT these people Didn't make the economy better. They fucking wrecked it. I don't know about you, Adam, but if I go to Vegas and put a Grand on 11-black and it comes up, well, I'd better get my 36 grand. If it lands on 6, I don't grab the dealer and go, "goddamn it, I have a dream and I bet big!" Jesus, you fuck, there is a Downside to gambling. Everyone that has ever set foot in Vegas knows this, along with everyone who hasn't, except perhaps you, Adam, and your lame ass Wall-Street-defending ilk.

"Obama says Wall Streeters should go to Arkansas; Arkansans should come to New York -- and see the grand opportunities that lie before them. That's How You Inspire Hope."

Ummmm.. I don't know where Adam grew up, I'm guessing Long Island. Let me explain to Adam how most people in America view NYC. They are scared of it. Their fear is in a large part due to Conservative Fucks like him playing up the crime and degradation to make cheap political arguments for years and years (you know, Like this cheap political argument he's making now). But beyond just maybe not being the sort of person that wants to leave friends and family to live in some shitty railroad apt on Bowery to make it BIG in NYC, Not everyone can Make It on Wall St. Jesus, you just can't. There are a limited amount of spots on the top. They don't go to the Best, they don't go to the Brightest. But being Best and Brightest certainly doesn't hurt. Most people don't have the guts, smarts or Ambition, or in the current climate the Criminal Instincts, to make it big on Wall St. THIS is the major flaw in Conservative thinking. They like to project the idea that if "you Just Work Hard Enough" you'll make it. Well, yeah, maybe. But some people have nothing to work with and that's just the fucking truth. 

Good for you, Adam, you have your little niche at the Post. I'm sure you're all interested in your portfolio and things are fine there. But you are a bankrupt, soulless excuse for a human and your column makes  me feel a little sad for you. But just a little. The rest of me is pretty sure you're a fuck and I hope I never see you in real life as we both enjoy this great city that can't possibly house every dreamer in Arkansas, let alone America. You fuck.

Anyway.... 

Are you Kidding Me!?

Ok, there will be a new Bill O'Reilly post soon, but I was just on the NY Post Website, trying to find a link to his column, and there, Right in the Column section like a festering sore, was a column by Ralph Peters. 

For those who don't know, Ralph is NY Post's war/foreign affairs editorialist. He is, in terms of the Post, one of the less insane columnists. I even agree with him a good two or three times a year. His last post is called, "Careless Use of U.S. Troops." Are you fucking kidding me?! Are you Fucking Kidding Me? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!   Are you completely mad? Without a trace of self-awareness?! Fuck YOu! Fuck YOU Fuck fuck fuck fuck YOU!

Ok.... that was not reasonable, that was not helpful. But seriously, fuck you Ralph Peters. I didn't read your post. I'm sure you have some sort of bullshit premise, and usually i do read your column. Maybe you didn't make up the headline, but something in the column clearly suggested it. I've been reading the Post for quite some time on a semi-regular basis. I don't recall BUSH ever being accused of wasting lives. Who do you think STARTED these bullshit wars? Who attacked Iraq for no Fucking Reason? Who dropped the Ball on Afganistan? Where exactly does the buck stop for you? Fuck you, man. Seriously, fuck you. Hope you can't sleep tonight, or ever really.

Ok, more reasonable post coming.

Anyway...

The Sky is so pretty

So, what color is the sky in Bill O'Reilly's world? 

Bill O. had a fascinating interview in Yahoo today. Now, I was going to go through that interview and point out what a self-deluded bulling fuck Bill O. is, but you can read it yourself. If you can't figure out the psychoness, ask me, I'll be happy to help you out. 

But, though I may highlight the interview later, I think I'll focus on Bill O. and his own words from last Friday's column in the NY Post. I don't have a link to this post, unfortunately, so I shouldn't even blog on it, particularly since I just screamed at Ralph Peters, without even reading his Post, but he upset me. But Ralph did say he was down with legalizing Mary-Jane the other day, so he's not ALL evil. Only mostly.

Anyway, Bill's last post in the NY Post was basically restating his belief that, and again, paraphrasing, Fox News and His Show are booming in the ratings because people are scared and they do not trust Obama and his "scary" socialist tactics. 

My response to this, and I really should be linking to things like posts questioning Bill's claim that Fox News ratings are booming. Maybe they are rising, booming is probably the wrong word. Or I could link to posts that Obama's personal approval ratings are Very High. These are easy enough things to find, if you poke around.

However, Bill, this is my theory why your ratings are climbing. You work at Fox, it is a Highly Partisian station, despite your attempts to paint it otherwise, despite your claims at being non-partisan, despite Fox's Ridiculous Fucking claim that they are Fair and Balanced. Your whole station is a fucking shill for the Republican Party. And you know, honestly it wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that y'all that work there work So Fucking Hard at pretending you don't have an agenda. 

Bill, if your ratings are going up, it's because you and people of your ilk (hello, Hannity! hello Limbaugh!) have spent the last decade scaring the pants off a certain segment of the population and now they are turning to your for mother's milk. There is a good quarter of the population that are staunch conservatives and they are now currently all terrified out of their fucking minds. A quarter of 350 million is a big ratings number, and they are all coming to you, Bill. You are their shepherd. Poor bastards. It is NOT an indication of more people believing your ridiculous bullshit, just the people already in your camp are watching more TV because They Scared. And you helped scare them. So, you know, don't break your arm patting yourself on the back.

Anyway...

Somebody gettin' capped

Ok, this happened a few days ago, but your fearless (and favorite) blogger has a common human affliction commonly known as the lazy.

Anyway, it's amazing to me how Quickly the prominent commentators and politicians on the Right have Lost their Fucking Minds over a Democratic administration.  Not only is it extremely annoying considering the wreckage of the last 8 years, but really, someone (i.e. Obama) is going to get shot. I remember watching the inauguration. I was physically afraid, I'm rarely so afraid in real life. I kept waiting, waiting to see the head snap back. Once he was through it, I relaxed. But lets face it, more and more, listening to these fucking people talk, I can't help thinking, they Want it to happen. 

Let's listen to Michelle Bachman. For those of you who are unaware, Ms. Bachman is one of the more unhinged members of congress. Extremely unhinged. Now, I'm going to paraphrase, but you should click on the link to get the full flavor of her comments. Basically she talks of Revolution (in terms of a Thomas Jefferson quote, of course. Umm.. He was fighting the Real Revolution, Michelle, and even that was probably unnecessary (i.e. Canada)). She also went on to say that she wanted her constituents to be "armed and dangerous" about the Energy Tax. 

Now, clearly, Michelle is speaking metaphorically about the energy tax, she wants her constituents "armed and dangerous" with information, wink wink, nudge nudge.

Seriously, this is an Elected Fucking Official telling her constituents in Minne-fucking-sota she wants them "armed and Dangerous"......  with information....... wink wink, nudge nudge. 

Now, before you say I'm overreacting, before you say the other StrayCat is off his rocker, consider this. What if Jack Murtha (corrupt fuck that he is, (god bless your service, sir)) had gone on Radio and said this sort of shit about the Dynamic Duo from only a few months ago, well, do we have ANY question of the reaction of Hannity, O'Reilly or Rush?  Christ. 

Anyway...

Man of Steele..

I gain hope from Michael Steele. It makes me happy that a person this fucking dumb has become a major face of the Republican party. I mean, Joe the Plumber is basically a walking ridiculous, but he doesn't have an official position. 

However, he's so fucking dumb that picking on him is almost the equivalent of mocking the mentally challenged, and I am not cruel and without pity.  I'll link you to Steve Benan's recap. Ridiculous.

Anyway...

First Twitter Dump

Enjoy my 140 character or less ramblings.

In honor of the BOB today's groovy song is Mississippi. A new BOB classic some of you may not know.

New BOB! April 28! Thank you, God! And by god of course I mean...

Groovy song of the day: Get Me by Dinosaur, Jr.
10:55 AM Mar 25th

Go home evan bayh. And by home I mean hell.
9:55 PM Mar 24th from txt

Ooohhh, Eugene Roninson has fancy new glasses. Hipster, yet with gravitas.
9:44 PM Mar 24th from txt

Obama needs to quit giving press conferences on my trivia night. This was never a problem with W.
1:38 PM Mar 24th from txt

Just read that Penn Jillette was a guest on Glenn Beck. Disappointing. Penn can be wrong, but he's usually logical and he's a big pro-science guy. As for Beck...
6:53 AM Mar 21st from txt

The time has come to put Lou Dobbs out to pasture. Apparently now even St. Paddy's is just too 'ethnic.' Cripes.
2:19 PM Mar 18th from txt

Why, why, fucking WHY is Jon Stewart the best reporter on tv!?!?! Jesus. Doomed.
9:12 PM Mar 15th from txt

I scored 324/400 on The Progressive Quiz. Average score for the other monkeys, 209. This explains something. Not sure what.
7:17 AM Mar 12th from txt

Holy hell. How does Ari Fleisher live with himself? How? If I was Ari my walls would be colored brain. Smug jack ass.
8:46 PM Mar 11th from txt

The line at KFC is inversely proportionate to how hungry I am. Move fatties!
5:38 PM Mar 11th from txt

I figure if St. John McCain is hip enough for a twitter than so am I. Oh Jesus. We're doomed.

Bruuuuuuce!

So, a repeat of the Daily Show tonight. Bruce Springsteen is on. I love Bruce. If you don't, well, I won't say fuck you, but you are Wrong and you should take another listen. Tell me the type of music you like and I'll recommend the right album, Bruce is all things to all people.

Anyway, during his interview, he said an interesting thing. He said, "people drank a whole lot of their own kool-aid, that there was this sub-culture of people that basically brought down the country, and were in the position to do that, and everyone out there is footing the bill."

That is a perfect synopsis. This is why I STILL don't understand the media's reaction to this. After all of this that has gone on why are people like, say, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Bill O'Reilly, Jonah Golberg (some spelling may be misspelled) Why are they still given a platform?  

Again, over the last 30 years and Particularly the last 8 years, hard-core conservatism has been given a chance domestically, Neo-Conservatism has been given a chance internationally. They have failed. YOU, fuckers. YOU have failed. Let the grown-ups sit at the table and shut the fuck up.

Ok. Bruce is more eloquent. He's a song-writer, I'm a drunk. No apologies.

Anyway...

No Laughing Allowed

Back when I was a lad on my first office job I may have sent around an incredibly derogatory e-mail. I sent it to the entire company. Including the boss. It was a small company, which is the ONLY reason I was not fired, though apparently it was discussed.

Anyway, at the time I was a punk kid (Ok, still a punk kid) and I put a sign up in my cubical, "No Laughing Allowed." 

Were I of a more messianic frame of mind I could proclaim this a prophesy, as apparently, should Barack display any emotion other than stoicism he is clearly not taking the economy seriously.  

A little background for those of you who have been spending the last few weeks personally inspecting your large intestine. Obama has in the last few days been on both The Tonight Show and 60 Minutes.  And, during these interviews, he laughed.

If you've seen either of these interviews, and are a somewhat intelligent member of the human race, you would realize the laughs were in context and somewhat limited. But there are a great deal of people out there, most of them conservative followers and their brain-dead followers, find that Obama laughing is a proof of his Unseriousness. Seriously, even after 8 years of The Chimp.

I have to say during the Obama presidency my opinion of the Republican movement in this country (again, I say Republican not Conservative; Republican is now a religion, Conservatism is still a philosophy) has somewhat dropped (which I did not think possible, honestly). Obama, every time I've seen him, is out there trying to Explain what is going on to the people. Now, you can disagree with his policies, you can argue his actions, but Attacking him for having a little humor at being the Captain of the Titanic after the Last Captain (ummmm.. you know, DUBYA!) jumped ship..... well, go fuck yourself with a fork. 

I really don't know what to do or say. Obama is far from perfect, and despite all the hysterics He is NOT a fucking progressive, he's a moderate at best. But after years of Bush trying to work his drunken tongue over the mountain of any word beyond 5 or 6 letters... Well, I have to say, I'm still getting over the fact that the leader of the Whole Fucking Free World can Actually Speak in complete Fucking sentences. 

Anyway....

Man, do I suck

Ok, I've not posted forever. Perhaps I am the lone source of news for some of you and you are now hopelessly and desperately adrift in this Brave New World. For that, I apologize, but I've been busy, and lazy, please forgive me.

That said, I have begun a Twitter account, because it is really about the most narcissistic thing you can do, and I'm all about that. My handle on the T is "anotherstraycat", ummm..., just like here. That was intentional. 

Anyway, Twitter makes you sign on to see other people's twitters and they ask for Some (nothing ridiculous, but some) personal information. So, I'll probably be posting my twitters here on a semi-regular basis so those of you that want to bask in my mundanity can without giving it up to the man. 

Egad. Doomed.

Anyway....

Easing back in...

Ok, this was easily my longest break since I started this thing. But let's see what I can do here. Let us start with something simple to get back on my blogging feet. 

I am sick of hearing Republicans blather about how the market needs to be deregulated, Unions are bad, and how the New Deal didn't really work.

Anyway, how those three things are related is this; nobody Wanted to do these things. If employers weren't greedy assholes there would be no unions. Most people do not have grievances when they are, you know, being treated Fairly. Same with Regulation. Regulations, particularly those governing how much money people can make, do not come from fucking nowhere. Back in the late teens of the 20th century there was this little thing called the Great Depression. Basically the same sort of greedy assholes that are trying so hard to wreck us now wrecked us then. Those Regulations went into place to stop similar disasters from occurring in the future. In the early part of This century, Sarbanes-Oxley was drafted AFTER all those corporate scandals of the 90s. Would've been nice if we had something like that Before the disaster, but that's how it works. 

However, the thing is Republicans always act like this stuff happens in a vacuum. Like a) there was no reason for it, and b) that there weren't Conservative-thinking people through all stages of history doing their best to stand in the way and water down these things. (Speaking of which, Sarbanes-Oxley was passed in 2002, so Kudos Republicans! I wonder how effective it is. Hmm....) Sure, there's the argument that the New Deal wasn't especially effective. However, there is also the argument, and in my mind a more credible one, that the New Deal would've been MORE effective if the conservatives of the time shut the fuck up about Tax Cuts and let it go through. 

Anyway...

More Movies!

Ok. so, read the previous post, but the conservobots at the National Review put out a list of the 25 Most Conservative Movies and it was ridiculous when it wasn't being actively offensive. So, let me tackle a couple more of these...

#20 Gattaca, #22 Brazil - These are movies of Government control gone out of control. So I can see true-blue Republicans (like the NRO) watching these movies and feeling vindicated in their ridiculous policy positions. The government is taking over! It is funneling people into the roles they deem the best! Except, again!, the actions of Conservobots have not born out this belief in 'live free or die'. 

Again, had America, despite all its finger-sticking in the various Pies that are the Middle East, somehow escaped International Terrorism, maybe the Republicans could have remained true to their values. However, as soon as those four fateful planes met their respective destinations the collective pants pissing occurred and the Republicans proved themselves willing to submit to any fascist measures necessary to Keep Us Safe. You have lost all credibility in this area, fuck off. 

Also, both movies deal with Government Gone Wild (the lame version of GGW) however the past Administration is in extreme Trouble for Politicizing, well, everything and the Continual Spying on Americans..... well, that's Fascism, you fucks.

Anyway....

Movies!

One of the things that has always fascinated me about the current conservative movement is what they Actually believe about themselves and how they Actually act.

Anyway, in a surprisingly revealing example, the National Review put out a list of the 25 Most Conservative Movies. Or maybe it isn't that surviving. To take a page out of High Fidelity (best movie ever) there is something about the music, movies and books you choose as your favorite that exposes a lot about you. Or, in this case, what you think about your political movement. 

Let's look at a few of these movies:

#2 - The Incredibles

It promotes 'family values' over 'pop-culture references and gross jokes in favor of a story that celebrates marriage, courage, and responsibility". I do believe, of all the movies on this Ridiculous fucking list, this is the one that pisses me off the most. Yes, Liberals have cornered the market on Gross Jokes. Like all those liberals filling the stadiums of Larry the Cable Guy. Now, I actually kind of enjoy Larry and I enjoy Gross Jokes, but claiming that 'Gross Jokes' has a hold over one political party over another is, well, fucking dumb. But, what I am sick of Republicans staking claim over family values, courage and Responsibility. Liberals love their children. People LOVE their children. Liberals are people. Quit co-opting and devaluing family values you fucks. I love my family and i HATE you people. Fuck you. 

Second. I have never seen a group of people collectively piss their pants after 9-11 like the Conservatives. Let's see, which party wants to give up on every standard this country has every had and hold dear. the US does Not Tortue. The US does Not Spy on it's Citizens. The US does NOT fucking hold people Indefinitely! We do NOT do these things. But apparently when Conservatives Piss their Pants over a Terror attack, well, who knows what they'll do. Lock your doors, liberals. The next time the Conservos piss their pants they might be aiming for your toilet.

Third. Responsibility? When you get a party that takes running the Government Seriously, come talk to me. Otherwise, fuck off. And no, after the last 8 years there is nothing you can say to convince me you take governing seriously. You are the party of Ronald "Government-is-the-problem" Reagan. And you take that role very seriously. You will not govern responsibly for Anyone. Not even your Constituents. Now, that does take some commitment. I'll give you commitment. 

Anyway...

The mojo`

Ok, so I have not been blogging much lately, this is due to three reasons:

1) My blog is non-essential. I am not fooling myself about this. I have nothing truly unique to say and you should really be reading smarter bloggers.

2) I've been drinking away from my couch more lately. 

3) The main reason is that I've been having this massive sense of ennui lately. I mean more massive than usual. But I think it's over. My main problems are a) that the main news story has been the stimulus bill and even though I'm in favor of it, I'm really not an economic expert and therefore don't feel quite as comfortable shooting off as I do about other topics.

But, the more important reason b) I have actually been having a bit of a moral crisis. Am I helping here? I've been reading the blog comments at websites lately. (I feel I've posted about this before, bear with me. I'm not going anywhere with this, but I guarantee the payoff will probably not be rewarding.) Basically, these website comments are a bunch of talentless (which is saying something) Bill O'Reillys screaming about Liberal and/or Conservative bias. The language is exactly the same, left and right.  Nobody is listening to anybody. So, Am I Contributing Anything of Value? That was never really my intention, but still, it would be nice. 

Then, much like St. John, I had this Revelation. My Revelation is this, just because the Conservative factions out there co-opt the language of victimization does NOT mean they are Victims. These are the people that deny global warming. These are the people that pissed their pants after 9-11 and whole-heartedly allowed for free-for-all torture and wire-tapping. These are the people that think 'Barack the Magic Negro' is not offensive. These are the people that listen to Rush Fucking Limbaugh. These are the people that are extending the 'career' of Joe The Plumber!

Basically, I am not the crazy one here. You might sound like me, but I'm Right and You're Wrong. And that's the way it is. Fucking sorry. 

Alright, on to other stuff.

Anyway...

Get 'er dun.

So, for the last Two years the Democrats have been 'in charge' of the Senate, and it has done jack shit. This is a point that the Right never gets tired of pointing out. I know this because a while ago listeners of various news agencies gave a little political quiz and "Which Party controls congress?" was about the ONLY question that the Fox viewers/dittoheads knew the correct answer to. 

Annnnyyyyway, I make this point only to make another point. The reason why Democrats can't get anything does is because of Republicans. That's the Reason. (Well, that and the Democrats tend to be pussies, but I've addressed that in previous posts, I believe.) Now, why is this? Because the Republicans are a much more cohesive unit. They do not tolerate dissent.

During the six long years the Republicans held sway they voted virtually in lockstep. And when there were a few token dissents from the Bush Position you could always find a few Blue Dogs like the Distinguished Fuck from Nebraska, Bill Nelson or the ever mercurial Joe Liberman to tip the balance in the Republicans favor. 

The Democrats are putting out this Stimulus Bill which now has 42% tax cuts and the Republicans are STILL whining that it's not Bi-partisan enough. (Steve Benen, as usual, has two good posts about this, with far less profanity.) (PS - Republicans LOVE them some tax cuts, so you know, 42% of a trillion in tax cuts, not too shabby.)

Most serious economists think Tax Cuts are a very ineffective way to provide stimulus. And just looking at the past 8 years, if they were effective then things should be fucking Rosy right now.  And yet, to repeat, 42%, damn near HALF, of this thing is Tax Cuts and you STILL can only get 3 Republican senators to roll on their party. 

Further more, Michelle Malkin the other day was already calling for heads, before the vote even fucking occurs. (Ok, so ALL Malkin's posts are crazy, I just picked one at random. But a quick visit to her site confirms that she is just NOT happy with this bill.) I also might point out that Malkin is a bit of a Low Level crazy of the Right, imagine the war the Dittoheads are waging.

The point being, this is the mentality Democrats have to fight against. A wicked minority base that doesn't understand basic economics but can work a phone and scream against their own best interests. 

For contrast consider how the Democrats treated Joe Lieberman. During the election Joe endorsed John McCain, actively campaigned against Obama, went on stage during the RNC and lambasted Obama, and he went on the TV and said it was a good and fair question to ask if Obama was a terrorist-loving terrorist. And we all know what the Democrats did to Lieberman. NOTHING. Made him sweat for a couple days, then gave him a big sloppy hummer and his gavel back. If Lieberman pulled that shit on the Republicans he'd be hanging from his scrotum from the ceiling of a Gitmo cell. 

Anyway...

It's bad.

Ok, so the Republicans are playing politics. I don't know if they are insane, ignorant, or assholes. I think they are probably all three. However, and I'm not going to link to places, but they aren't hard to find they do have a couple of common anti-stimulus arguments. One of them, if you look around you'll see Republicans arguing that well, you know, we're in a recession but what about these other recessions? 1990? 2001? We didn't need a Billion stimulus then, we'll be fine!

Well, take a look at this chart. We're the green line. That's the one doing the Titanic impersonation.  Basically, we are really fucked if something is not done soon. We're probably fucked anyway, but let's all be positive. Like, maybe a meteorite will strike the senate chamber and only kill the Republicans and we can get this fucking thing passed. Yep.

Anyway...

The Liberal Media

So, occasionally I agree with Bill O'Reilly, you know, just because he says something so ridiculously populist that the average person would go, "really? Oil Companies are greedy? DOOO go on, Bill." Of course, I forget that his audience is mostly fucking morons and masochistic liberals.

Anyway, two weeks ago in his weekly NY Post column, he dropped this Beauty. Basically, the thrust of the article is that the Newspaper industry is collapsing because It's Too Liberal!  Of course! It all makes sense. 

The Newspaper Industry is collapsing because occasionally it expresses 'opinions' that Bill disagrees with. It has nothing to do with the fact that a) the economy is collapsing in general; b) media is undergoing fundamental changes that have been going on for years and are finally coming to a head; and in a nod to Bill's real influence, c) Right-Wing Hacks have been trying for YEARS to completely undermine the media.

This is the true legacy of assholes like Bill O'Reilly and his troll-like pill-scarfing granddaddy Rush Limbaugh. They have been calling the media useless and untrustworthy for years and years. And it's finally starting to stick. 

Now, I don't want to give them too much credit, but the media plays a large and incredibly important role in Democratic society. Ideally the Media stands up to the Government and lets the People know what the FUCK is GOING ON. 

Spending the last however many years reading media criticism there is a huge difference between Left criticism and Right ummm... 'criticism'.  The basic difference is this, the Left recognizes the value of the press, they just wish that the Press would, you know, do their job, get the facts right and not give politicians a free pass for being idiots and whores just because they're personable (Hello, W!).  People on the Right shout bias when something occurs they don't agree with and spend the rest of the time destroying the credibility of any press organization that does not cling tightly to their ideological views. 

Now, this is a bit simplistic synopsis, but it's largely accurate. The Right by-and-large has about as much respect for the Press as they do for the Government. Both of these organizations exist for a reason, primarily because, despite the problems they can cause, life is better With them than Without them. People like Rush and Bill do not seem to grasp this and in a traditional lack of Irony they do not even seem to understand that they ARE the press. God help us that there are Journalism students out there right now that may be looking up to these fools. 

Anyway...

Changes!

Ok, so careful observers will notice there are some changes and we'll see just how many people are (not?) reading my drivel. 

So, I added a follower thing, for those of you wishing to become disciples.

Likely more important I added an RSS feed. Basically this alerts you when I post, so you know, when I don't post for a week people aren't checking every day.

And I got a counter at the bottom. Can't wait to watch the numbers fly! Of course, if the numbers do not fly I may delete it. That would just be depressing.

Ok. Now. I swear. O'Reilly.

My lack of posts

Well, loyal fans, I have not blogged for over a week. And I had something really nasty to say about Bill O'Reilly, but more about that later.

I admit. I lost hope, I lost my sense of humor. These are things I should not do, I mean, this is the Age of Hope and, well, lose your humor and you may as well make a date with a .44 shell.

But it is amazing to me how little the Republican Party has changed after the consecutive 2006/08 pummelings. There are NO prominent signs of actual introspection. I mean, in one way it is good because they will die the slow, painful death of any political party that refuses to change with the times. Now, I'm not talking about Coulter, Limbaugh, Malkin. No, these fools make their money saying stupid, outrageous things and, honestly, to maintain their lifestyles they'd be damn fools to stop. I mean, whether they believe their own shit or not.

NO, I'm talking about elected officials. People who's very livelihood requires actually appealing to people. Now, when times are good these fools are more annoying than dangerous. But when times ARE tough it is exactly the reverse. 

These people ARE dangerous. They have no idea how to govern and they have no interest in governing and they have been stirring up 'the silent majority' for so many years against straw-men, like the media and hippies, for so fucking long that they can't even tell the difference between their own election rhetoric and their JOBS. YOU WERE ELECTED TO HELP YOU FUCKING FUCKS!!! SO HELP OR GO THE FUCK HOME! Seriously, fuck 'em all.

Ok. Humor back. On to O'Reilly.

Anyway...

What do you mean Hope?

So, again with the Rush.

Today, Rush goes on Hannity and again reiterates his position that he does not support our current President. Now, let's imagine if a prominent Democratic spokesperson, say Howard Dean, went on TV and said he hoped the President would fail. OH Wait, we don't have to imagine. Why? Because for the last EIGHT FUCKING YEARS people like Rush Limbaugh, you fuck, have been equating dissent with Treason. 

Now, again, not speaking for the entire Left, but I know for a fact I was never hoping for Bush to fail. I just knew that he would. Why would I hope he fails? He's Running the Country! But he was running it like a moron based on the advice of morons (again, Hello, Rush!).  So, failure was a foregone conclusion. 

So, playing by your own rules, Rush. You are now on the record at least twice rooting for the failure of the President of the United States of America, a sacred office. This makes you a traitor, so as a Good American I must call for you to be nailed to the Lincoln Bedroom wall by your balls. Sorry, Rush, but fair is fair.

Anyway...

No Bible?! Holy Fuck!

So, the Very first blog post I read today is this crap. Now, the post is not crap, it's by the man, Steve Benen. (I keep pimping Benen. I hope you're all reading his fucking blog already.)

Anyway, so, Obama didn't use a Bible for the Re-oath that he took just so no nutjob could come along and claim his presidency is illegitimate. So, let's face it, Obama was forced to do this by the extreme right-wing type wackos that have so much sway over the media at this point in time. And NOW he does it without a Bible. (I mean, I don't think any lefty type person is going to challenge the legitimacy of his Presidency. We only question Presidencies established by the Supreme Court.)

So, I don't think any right-wing type person is smart enough to put together this narrative, so let me have a crack.  Obama comes up to John Roberts. He touches The Bible of the First Republican President to swear his oath of office. The Bible burns his hand, but he enjoys the pain, it is all worth it. But he can not swear the oath, his contact with the holy artifact and the recitation of the oath at the same time would be too much, even for his considerably Satanic powers. He needed a way out. There was one choice.

Focusing, he caused Chief Justice Roberts to flub the Oath. The magic words of the Constitution were not spoken properly. The crafty devil laughed at the flub, he was oh so smooth. Then, the very next day he arranged for a second speaking of the sacred words. "Oh my, we've forgotten the Bible. No matter, surely a raised right hand will suffice."

"I see no need for the Bible," slobbered the mentally enslaved Roberts. 

So, Obama has now been sworn in as an Agent of Satan, bringing Socialism to us all. It has all gone to plan. 

Predictably, Glen Beck was disturbed. Possibly because Glen is specially attuned to the dangers of the dark side. Or maybe just because he's disturbed.

Seriously. I can not believe these people.

Anyway...

Keeping Up Appearances

So, it's been a busy day today for our new president and he apparently isn't quite living up to the expectations of people that have no plans to like him ever anyway. BUT these are humans, so let us give a moment to their concerns.

First, as is probably well known, John Roberts flubbed the Oath of Office. I thought it was a nice little moment in the ceremony actually. It looks like Obama stumbles over the oath, turns out it was mostly (i.e. entirely) Roberts fault, but it was a nice moment. Who gives a fuck about the oath, right? I mean, after The Primary, and the Election and the fact that he becomes President at NOON no Matter What, well, who cares. Well, predictably Chris Wallace and, no doubt, a bunch of other idiots, do care, so much so that Obama retook the oath this morning. You know, just in case.

Second, he apparently is not wearing a suit Jacket in the Oval Office. This apparently was a major no-no for the Bush Administration and also for St. Reagan. Now, I understand respect for the office and all of that, but seriously, IT'S HIS FUCKING OFFICE. Anyone that thinks this is a deal after the last 8 years of torture (and, seriously, do I have to name anything else??) and Politicization of the Justice Department and Everything Fucking Else, if you think this is a deal you're an idiot. Stop breathing. Anyway, here's the Post from Townhall. Some of the comments are just so priceless. Seriously, think about the not breathing thing, Townhall commenters. We'll all be fine. Better really.

Ok, here's the one that's the hardest to blow off. Apparently Barack, in doing the Ball rounds yesterday, failed to hit the Salute to Heroes Inaugural Ball. This is sponsored by the American Legion in honor of people winning the Congressional Medal of Honor and it seems like a bad one for a Democrat (i.e. cheese-eating surrender Monkey) to miss. Or maybe Obama has big balls, so to speak. But, and to make matters worse, it's a little harder to accept when you consider that he went to the BET Ball. Seriously? BET? Entertainment? 

However, this is the sort of thing that is really going to piss off the Conservobots, so I'm not too broken up, even though my Pop is very active in the Legion and I'm a peripheral member myself. However,  I did see a very nice moment at some Ball or another where he did talk to some soldiers in Iraq and it was a nice, relaxed, respectful moment. Still, it's hard to justify blowing off a Ball honoring soldiers and still go to a Ball that celebrates a TV station that has quite possibly, as far as I'm concerned, set back race relations as much as Obama has moved them forward. Of course, maybe it's gotten better, and I'm picking on BET, but I'm certain there were other non-essential Balls he attended. (Recording Industry Ball? Again, seriously?)

So, a poor decision there, but in fairness, there were a lot of Balls, and something tells me that Obama probably didn't put together the list himself. I'm sure he'll make up for it by, you know, actually Supporting the troops Legislatively rather than with empty gestures like going to balls and then fucking them on policy. You know?

Anyway...

DNC Blackberries

I do love the RedState post. One more point to make about this thing. 

Right at the end he mentions that Obama was looking into getting Blackberries for DNC senior staff. Mr. Faughnan (Faughnan?) suggests that Liberals threw a Hissy Fit when the RNC got Blackberries and the suggestion was called off to not look to Hypocritical. 

NOW, maybe he doesn't understand the argument here. The problem was NOT that the RNC people had Blackberries. It's that people (and I use the word charitably) like Karl Rove and other White House staff were using the RNC email accounts for Government business. Apparently, the RNC accounts are not covered by government disclosure rules. Now, Bush and his Administration clearly never understood this (i.e. chose to ignore it because they could do whatever they wanted, right?), so maybe their supporters don't either. But there is no problem if the DNC people have blackberries, so long as A) the Government doesn't foot the bill, and B) they don't use them for policy-making type conversations or Government business. THIS was the complaint. Not that hard to understand.

The GREAT thing is is that the article that RedState links to basically says Exactly that, and he STILL gets it wrong! I guess they don't teach reading comprehension in RedState.

Anyway...

Secrets!

So, apparently this is how it works, pay attention. Democrats have SECRETS. Republicans are just, you know, KEEPING US SAFE.

There. Everyone edified?

So, Keith O. has promised Breaking News that will Shock even the Cynics (yes, I'm waiting) about the scope of Bush's spying program. I doubt seriously I will be shocked. I have little to no doubt that the revelations that come out about the Bush Administration over the next 50 years will be shocking. The amount of stuff these idiots let leak was bad enough, and we're talking about one of the most secretive Presidencies in history.

Anyway, I know I shouldn't read Conservobot Blogs because it only upsets me, but this from RedState is truly priceless.

He's complaining about Obama wanting to keep his BlackBerry. And suggesting that it will some how a) keep Obama more isolated (huh?), and b) will allow him to keep his e-mail more secret (ummm.. huh?). Now, I don't have a Blackberry but as I understand it they are connected to an actual e-mail account. Presidential e-mail is saved. Barack does not have a problem with hiding e-mail yet, unlike his predecessor.

And for the record today Obama said this, "Information will not be withheld just because I say so..." Now, Obama might not stick to this, but time will tell. Though I suspect he will never release enough information for the RedState folks, but the rest of us should remember the Bush Administration.

Anyway...

The Hate LIves!

Well, for a minute there I thought the rhetoric of coming together and we can all work together might have seeped in deeply and changed me in some profound way. Turns out, no. BUT it didn't seem to change some other people either. 

Example 1: Rush. God Bless you, Rush, you are as predictable as the sunrise. You fuck.

When asked what he hoped for Obama's future, Rush responded, "I hope he Fails." This is a true patriot. Yes, folks. When the president is a huge mother fucking disaster, like say, ohhhhh... the Last Guy! the entire country suffers.

But Rush hopes he fails, why? Because, and I quote, "I hope Liberalism fails. Liberalism is our problem. Liberalism is what's got us dangerously close to the precipice." 

You know, in all the years Bush led, I never hoped he failed. If he had instituted the policies of Conservatism and became a world-wide success I would've honestly rethought my views. But not Rush. No, he saw this great conservative experiment and continues, in the face of ALL EVIDENCE to the CONTRARY continues to follow his Ideology.

Ideology kills. 

Seriously, Rush. Are you this demented? Are you this far gone? 

Of course Rush doesn't care what happens. He's rich. He became rich peddling lies and hate to the desperate and hateful. And it will continue to be a lucrative market. But, I predict he has peaked. The very existence of Obama will make Rush look more and more ridiculous. I hope I am not wrong. Enjoy your pinnacle, Jack-ass. 

Anyway...

Don't let the door hit you...

On the second thought, do. 

So, the long dark national nightmare is over. All the right people seem to be upset, Michelle Malkin, I'm looking at you. All the right people seem to be happy, Humans, I'm looking at you.

So, will the need to rant continue in the face of a presumably sane presidency? Well, we shall see. The forces of conservative evil have grown in power over the last 8 years. However, they began during the Clinton years, and these people thrive when they feel they are being persecuted. I mean, hell, they ruled completely for 6 full years, and pretty much for the last two and they STILL complained about persecution. You can't complain when you're in charge, bitches!

Anyway, new dawn and all that. I can't believe it's finally here. Seriously. This is pure buttery goodness. Party like it's your birthday, America. The Chimp is gone.

Anyway...

I'm afraid, I'm gay...

You know, this is honestly the core of the issue. Almost all of these anti-gay idiots out there honestly (STILL!) think being Gay is a Choice. 

Yes, I choose to be persecuted and ostracized, Risk rejection by my family and friends, risk having the shit beat out of me by close minded bigots, because, well.... I'm scared of women. Yes. What?! What the Fuck!?

But apparently that's the new theory by hate-mongering super-star, Michael Savage! Actually, I do have a bit of a soft-spot for Michael. Yes, he's an insane, blubbering hate-monger, right-wing fascist. But He does live in the Bay Area and that's the sort of locale that can make even a moderate swing to the right, if only in reaction to the feel good fumes coming from Berkeley. But despite my sympathy, (and I do love the Bay Area, but the Left isn't right ALL the time) Michael truly is a horrid, horrid person and I hope he has a special place waiting in hell. Well, I don't believe in Hell, so I guess I hope he has his tongue ripped out soon by weasels. Or retires, but I'm not holding my breath. 

You know, Michael, I was scared of women. Hell, I'm probably STILL scared of women. What's not to be afraid of?  They can rip your heart out and then when they're done fuck your best friend. And then they don't even have the common decency to kill you and end the pain.  Honestly, if every guy that was afraid of women went to the other side... well, I just hope rappers can keep the whole species going by themselves, because the rest of us have 99 Problems and a bitch is usually at least one.  Why do conservatives have such a problem understanding the concept of 'choice'?

Anyway...

Green Piece

This is a bit of a follow up post to what I wrote about global warming the other day.

What kills me is that the Right ideologues seems to ignore science whenever it gets in the way of their ideology, But when there happens to be a couple scientists that agree with their ludicrous positions they put these people up on a pedestal. I'm sure this is not hard to figure out, but for any up-and-coming scientist, a little advice.  Maybe you're not at the top of your class,  maybe you're at the bottom of your class. Maybe you don't have prayer to get a real job anywhere. This may not be your fault, maybe you are the victim of years of systematic discrediting and marginalization of real science. Whatever the reason, if you're looking to make a quick buck, pick a insane republican scientific position and write a book. 

You have a wealth to pick up on. Don't believe in Evolution, you're in! Don't believe in Global Warming, you're in! Think the market can regulate itself (hey, economics is a science) You're in! Think Terry Schiavo actually knew what was going on when people waved, You're in!

Let me say, that if you're going to reject Science outright, you have to reject it. It doesn't work if you just pick a couple articles you agree with and then cite the hell out of them. Science doesn't really reward rebellion. Well, it will if you can prove it, but OTHER people have to prove it. They have to come up with evidence to back your evidence. Otherwise you're just a nutcase. Of course, a lot of these people have made MILLIONS being nutcases. I'm looking at you, O'Reilly. You fuck.

Anyway...

Jack Bauer

It is a point of pride with me that I have never seen an episode of '24'. No, not really, but I honestly have never seen more of it than the commercials. I hear it's good, but it's a 24 hour commitment to watch it and as I hear it's rather addicting once you're started. I don't really want to give a day up for that.

But seriously, what is the deal with people like Bill O'Reilly and his ilk referencing Jack Bauer in their arguments for terror. It's fucking embarrassing people. Jack Bauer is Fucking Fictional! He's made up! This is really how these morons view the world. It honestly explains so much.

Almost all serious people, and serious knows no political bounds (or at least shouldn't), agree that torture does not work. It gets you bad information and it makes you look like a soulless dick while you're getting it. Movies are for Escape, not to be used in Supreme Mother-Fucking Court Arguments. Jesus, people. 

Aren't you the party of Shut-up and sing?! I swear, nobody hates Celebrities more than the Right until ONE of them happens to actually swallow their crap. Their favorite president ever was an Actor. Arnie? Ted Nugent? Chuck Fucking Norris? God, the only thing shocking is somehow Huckabee made it through that campaign without slicking up the Norris Nob. And the right celebrities are such 2nd stringers. What do you have Clint Eastwood (barely) and John Wayne. Ben Stein was funny in Ferris Bueller, and he's been a dick since. 

So, if the best argument for a Highly Questionable and Morally Repugnant Policy Position is a Fucking TV show you need to look long and hard at your politics. And your life.

Anyway...

The 22-year-old Virgin

Seriously, I wish MY virginity was (well, had been) worth 2.5 mil. Christ.

The Legacy Project

Bush had a Classic Press Conference today. His Delusion is truly remarkable. Rachel Maddow (godblessher) is devoting most of her show today to it, check it out on MSNBC.com or whatever, if you can. It's much easier to take with her playing a bit of the conference and then refuting it. Anyway, one of his more egregious comments is about his response to Hurricane Katrina. Here's the take at Crooks n Liars and it has a cartoon!

Anyway, of all the ridiculous things he said, he said this:

I've thought long and hard about Katrina -- you know, I could've done something differently, like land Air Force One in New Orleans or Baton Rouge.

He goes on to say that then the Media would castrate him if he Had landed his plane and had to divert police to his security rather than helping with the clean-up.

All of this begs the question, is Bush possibly MORE FUCKING DELUSIONAL THAN I THOUGHT??? How could he be, yet here it is. Hey, numb-nuts, the problem wasn't that you didn't land down there and blow-kisses or whatever it is you thought you could do. The Problem is that You Don't Take Government Seriously. Your job is to be the government and implement policies that, you know, help run things. When you give heading FEMA to Brownie the wonder idiot when SHIT goes down SHIT will Really go down. 

Government is a lumbering behemoth that runs very badly when it is run well. Giving control of it to people who think it serves NO purpose other than to provide their friends with cushy jobs does no one any good. And occasionally handing the government to an idiot will turn a major american city into the new Atlantis.

The Warming that is Global

So, this is sort of interesting.  So, apparently a few scientists think the world is heading into another ice age.  We are apparently in a Holocene period which is going to come to an End any time now, as it is only a brief 12,000 years long and then the Ice Age will continue for about 100,000 years. Now, predictably, a few Conservo Blogs are sort of excited with their told-you-soes and what now. Who doesn't like Told-You-Soes?

Now, admittedly I have not seen An Inconvenient Truth or any of that, so I will not claim to be an expert or even well-versed in all of this. Scientists seem to be in agreement for the most part so that seems good enough to me. However, I do think that a lot of the 'greening' type activities are annoying and there is a pretty healthy dose of hypocrisy (especially among the more vapid celebrities) involved in a lot of western efforts to 'combat' global warming. Our lifestyles are just not that green and are not likely to become so. Plus with countries like India and China on the rise and not giving two shits about the environment on their climb to the top I don't really see how we're going to stop this thing. 

However, the common conservative response to all of this is just ridiculous. Maybe people are hysterical for no reason, so what? Caring too much is better than not caring at all. A few people have to care a TON just to get the rest of us lazy asses to put a plastic bottle in the recycle bin. Yes, The Super-Greenies can be occasionally annoying, but they have a decent goal. A human goal. Essentially the Conservative position is My Trust Fund is more important than Your Clean Water. I mean, that's essentially it.  I guess that whole Cleanliness is next to Godliness thing  stops at the conservative armpit.

Not trashing the Earth is a good goal, it should be our goal. It should be a human goal to live more in Harmony with the planet (says the boy in NYC) than by destroying it and if you contribute to that effort you should be given credit. 

The Right is always complaining that the left are empty, cynical assholes with no spiritual values. Once again the environment issue proves that the only thing the Right truly excels at is demonstrating the psychological phenomenon of Projection.

Olbermann

You know, I watched Keith religiously during the election fairly religiously. There's a pretty simple explanation, he really was the only game in town. Who else are you going to watch for a moderate (yes, moderate) liberal point of view on Cable? Alan Colmes? 

But Keith has always been a blowhard and a bit too smug for my tastes and now that Rachel Maddow is in the game doing an incredible job it's become harder to take Keith as seriously.

However, as long as Sarah Palin is calling him the devil (see previous post) and he's naming Bill O'. Worst Person in the World, I'll tune in, at least for those special segments.

Anyway...

Again...

I STILL don't understand how the Republicans can get spanked, BADLY, TWICE! and still show NO signs of introspection.

Ok, obviously, I'm speaking of high-level, talking-head type Republicans. Obviously a great deal of normal Americans rethought their positions otherwise Obama could not have won by the margins he did, nor would he have the high approval ratings he now enjoys.

Anyway, what brought about this little out burst is She's back and showing NO signs of remorse for her parting in the McCain travesty of 2008. Let's go to Steve Benen's take, but this is all over the Interweb.

So, Sarah is back and she's blaming her lackluster performance on Tina Fay, Katie Couric, Keith Olbermman and basically anyone but herself. Remind me again, is it The Repubs or the Demos who takes pride in being the party of Personal Mother-Fucking Responsibility?

Sarah, you will never read this, but I have a confession to make. When I first saw your well-made-up mug at the Republican Convention you scared the living shit out of me. First, because right from the start you were clearly willing to lie on cue. And you were a brilliant attack dog. However, it soon became apparent that, as far as the big league goes, you were way over your head. You are just not a world-class bull-shitter. You're a backwoods bull-shitter. That's why you came up in the backwoods. You couldn't have come up Anywhere else. Wouldn't have happened.  There's no shame. I grew up in the backwoods. I could've stayed there and maybe been a big frog in the small puddle, but I moved to the big city. What's happened? I am a tadpole amongst a million other tadpoles watching the big frogs really live. Well, that's life. Accept it. You tried to play in the big leagues, got lit up and sent back to the minors. It happens. But, Don't blame the pitchers, you petty bitch.

Anyway...

Doggone it!

Ok, I don't know how I feel about entertainers crossing over into politics, but if you're good enough and smart enough.. Ok, this type of humor is a bit beneath me. 

Anyway, looks like Franken has got the win and I'm glad. He seems like a smart guy and I think he is legitimately passionate about politics and seems to take all the right (and by that I mean left) positions. And I like his books, which is more than I can say for Michael Moore, not that I'm real big on preaching to the choir materials. Except for blogs, of course.

Predictably, the Conservosphere is throwing a bit of a hissy fit. There was a misleading editorial by the Wall St. Journal today claiming that Franken stole the election. So, naturally, because they have difficult with both recognizing and drawing honest comparisons, Conservobots are crying foul and wondering where the liberal outrage over the Bush election is now.

Again, I must give the Right the same advice they gave us after the Bush '01 debacle, Fuck off and get over it. Oh, and by the way, just Saying Bush won that election And wasn't just Fucking Appointed  does NOT make it true. You have to provide Facts. Which I appreciate is difficult as there Are None.

If you're interested the best blow-by-blow refutation of the Wall St. editorial is provided by Nate Silver at fivethirtyeight.com. So, i'll stop blabbing about this now. 

Rock on, Stuart.

Anyway...