Thursday, January 22, 2009

No Bible?! Holy Fuck!

So, the Very first blog post I read today is this crap. Now, the post is not crap, it's by the man, Steve Benen. (I keep pimping Benen. I hope you're all reading his fucking blog already.)

Anyway, so, Obama didn't use a Bible for the Re-oath that he took just so no nutjob could come along and claim his presidency is illegitimate. So, let's face it, Obama was forced to do this by the extreme right-wing type wackos that have so much sway over the media at this point in time. And NOW he does it without a Bible. (I mean, I don't think any lefty type person is going to challenge the legitimacy of his Presidency. We only question Presidencies established by the Supreme Court.)

So, I don't think any right-wing type person is smart enough to put together this narrative, so let me have a crack.  Obama comes up to John Roberts. He touches The Bible of the First Republican President to swear his oath of office. The Bible burns his hand, but he enjoys the pain, it is all worth it. But he can not swear the oath, his contact with the holy artifact and the recitation of the oath at the same time would be too much, even for his considerably Satanic powers. He needed a way out. There was one choice.

Focusing, he caused Chief Justice Roberts to flub the Oath. The magic words of the Constitution were not spoken properly. The crafty devil laughed at the flub, he was oh so smooth. Then, the very next day he arranged for a second speaking of the sacred words. "Oh my, we've forgotten the Bible. No matter, surely a raised right hand will suffice."

"I see no need for the Bible," slobbered the mentally enslaved Roberts. 

So, Obama has now been sworn in as an Agent of Satan, bringing Socialism to us all. It has all gone to plan. 

Predictably, Glen Beck was disturbed. Possibly because Glen is specially attuned to the dangers of the dark side. Or maybe just because he's disturbed.

Seriously. I can not believe these people.

Anyway...

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