Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Sixth (and Seventh) Sense

So, I feel a little sorry for some of these people trying to work their way through modern society without a sense of humor or, possibly more importantly, a sense of Irony. How do you make it through modern society without understanding Irony? 

(Shit. I was going to write about Bill O'Reilly, but I realize that intro really works better with this other thing, so I'll do that.)

Anyway, once again, Steve Bennen is on top of the modern world's new great irony ignorer, Karl Rove. But really Karl is just a part of the problem with current conservative commentary.

Now, a lot of this is revealed by how all the current Republican Senators and congresspersons and such are disavowing the Bush Administration. They have been relegated to the Political Wilderness for Abandoning Their Principles. Egad. The Horror..... The Horror....

So, for those not keeping track, Republicans putting a political spin on the White House (and really everything) fine. Democrats, Worst Thing Ever.

Running up a deficit, Republicans, that's fine (You know, when you're in power it's just So Hard to not "abandon your principles"); Democrats (even if largely to clean up the previous mess), bad.

Former Republican V.P. Criticizing the current administration in all sorts of heinous ways, Including, "making the country less safe". Well, that's A-Ok. CURRENT V.P. pushing back at his, quite possibly insane (judgement call) predecessor, Sacrilegious and unprecedented.

Ok, does everyone understand how this works now? I assure you there is a pattern. Thanks, Karl. You fuck.


People who want your destruction..

So, I'm watching this new "The Ed Show" on MSNBC and I guess the guy hosting is supposed to be a liberal and maybe he is, I've only been watching for 5 minutes, but in those 5 minutes this show is a bit of a train wreck. First, he's got two low-level (because I haven't heard of them, so they must be low level) right-wing (presumably talk-radio) hacks against himself (who isn't really commenting) and Al fucking Sharpton. 

Now, I don't mind Al, I mean, he's clearly egomaniacal, but who isn't in that business.  However, the problem is I don't think he's taken too seriously by anyone and, I don't want to say he's outclassed, but he's just not holding his own on airtime. Every time he says something the reaction is, "Oh, of course AL is saying THAT," and these fucking gasbags sit there with their smug fucking we're-right-and-we-don't-need-"polls"-or"facts" smiles. Few things on this planet are more annoying than a Conservative fucking windbag smirking at something He Just Knows is false and that anyone casually acquainted and semi-respectful of Facts knows is true.

(Mystery solved, the smug idiots with the Rev. are Heidi Harrison and Lars Lawrenson (egad, these are names? Why not just go as Ken and Barbie, ok?))

So, anyway, Heidi says, "You cannot argue with people who want your destruction. You can not reason with them, you can not talk to them." You know, that's Exactly how I feel about conservatives right now, but you know, you still talk to them, because what else can you do? 

But really, how do you argue with people that Refuse to engage you in honest, intelligent conversation? You really can't.  Here is an example of exactly the level of discourse I saw tonight on that show, and I must reiterate, this is a NEWS network:

If you say, "After a tragically misguided and ill-conceived war against Iraq and several years of a diplomatic stance that, whether our fault or not, has obviously alienated the rest of the world, Barack Obama's main goal in the recent G-20 was to try to present a more understanding and open face of America to the world. I think ultimately this will make people more sympathetic to us and, for the big picture, make everyone more agreeable to our point of view, but also, make it harder for Terrorist groups to continue to use our own actions to drum up hate against us."*

And they respond, "You know, that sounds just like what the Chamberlain said right before Hitler crammed his Nazi dick between that appeaser's ass cheeks, you pinko-hippy."**

Well, you can't really have a dialogue there, now can you?


*Basically what Big Al said.

** Basically what those other two fucks said.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Ha. That is so funny. No really.

So, and I'm not going to provide links, which I like to do, but every so often you hear a conservative commentator Whining about the Daily Show saying they are bowing down to Obama. Well, this little clip  I think should disabuse that notion. 

The fact is that the Daily Show is Very Hard on Obama, not as hard as it was on Bush, perhaps, but that is not the Daily Show's fault. You see, Bush was a greater font of political mockery than Obama could ever be. In laymen's terms, Bush was a bumbling, at best dyslexic, at worst semi-retarded, Fuck; Obama is just a narcissist who thinks he can heal the world. Which is to say, a potential good President.

But the fact is, the Daily Show is unabashedly liberal, but they are fair. And they are consistently funny over all the years I've watched them. And why they are funny is this; they, for the most part, speak truth to power. It is cliche, but it is true.

A couple years ago, Fox "News" tried to have their own Daily Show. It was called the Half-Hour News Hour. Aside from ripping off their title from HBO's Half-Hour Comedy Hour, it was a rip-roaring failure. Why? Because they Had An Agenda. Now, you can have Beliefs and be funny. I even believe you can have Conservative beliefs and be funny (see P.J. O'Rourke's early books). But you can't be shilling for a political party and be funny. Why?

Because humor has to be true. It is the truest of entertainment. Laughter is a visceral reaction and it either happens or it doesn't. There is a reason why the best humor always bubbles up from the under-classes. There is a reason why when you are an outsider watching the MC at a black-tie event, you NEVER Laugh......

So, you know what, you Conservative commentators. Fuck you. The Daily Show is what it was and hopefully will continue to be, a giant middle finger at the establishment, a lone voice laughing in the darkness. And I don't care if Jon Stewart is a million are. We are taking your advertising dollars and actually spending them on FREE speech. So fuck off and make your little Lewinsky jokes. We, the People, have moved on...       Well, Most of us.