Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Joe the Politician

There are a couple of Conservobot posts on this, but this is easily my favorite from Cold Fury, I could probably be friends with this guy. Apparently Joe the "Plumber" had an interview and called out the 'Liberal' Media and some Conservobots are all happy.

Anyway, to recap Joe the Plumber's story, Joe asks Barack a question at a meet-and-greet. Barack answers the question and uses the phrase "spread the wealth". Conservobot Shitstorm ensues. 

Now, per the Conservo Blog posts, this is apparently the chosen narrative. The story goes that Joe is an ordinary dude and was dragged into all this against his will.  I ask you, over the course of the campaign, how many people asked Obama questions? How many might have actively disagreed with him? How many parlayed this exposure into a Book Deal and a Record Deal? Joe is a very ambitious person.

Of course, this was not all Joe's fault, as with most success stories this has it's share of luck. But let's not pretend this was a bad thing for Joe. He was propelled into national exposure and made the best of it, good for him. Conservatives like to ignore the fact that this is all the best thing that could've happened to dear old Joe (I don't know about you, but I wouldn't mind a book and record deal for NO FUCKING REASON WHATSOEVER)

But what's truly amazing is that somehow according to the Conservosphere Obama is responsible for all this madness which Joe has found himself.  Allow me to remind all that ST. JOHN was the one that mentioned Joe a fucking million times. Obama mentioned him just in playing Defense. McCain created the mythology. The press went after Joe because that's what the press does. They are fucking useless. I was reading the Liberal Blogs at the time. They mostly (I'm sure there were exceptions)  did not give a fuck. Joe was clearly an inconsequential blowhard, a nobody, or as I originally thought, completely mythological. A product of McCain's aged and sleep deprived mind.  At the time Liberals were trying to keep the country from falling farther into the abyss, we had bigger things to worry about. 

So, in closing, Conservobots, quit worrying about Joe. He's fine. Still wrong as ever, but fine.


2008 Election

You know, I'm watching Keith Olbermann's recap of the 2008 Election. I miss the Election! Wahhh!!

Now that I know the outcome, I wish I could go back and just enjoy it without all the pain and anguish. 

God. I had NO idea she winked that much during that debate. Can Palin only close one eyelid at a time? I don't want to be ragging on someone with a disability.


Baal Worshippers

For those of you who did not grow up in a religious household, perhaps a little explanation is in order. Baal Worshippers were a particularly favorite boogie man in the Old Testament. I don't know how much is known of them Historically, but in the bible they are fairly nasty. I don't have my bible handy, but I think they were the ones that ended up in that Preach-off against Elisha that resulted in the incinerated alter. Elisha was all over that shit. 

Anyway, a second recent occurrence of crazy religious/political behavior comes from some wacko at the WorldNetDaily. He compares Baal worshippers with current liberal type people. You really have to read it, but the general thrust is that both groups  are comprised of child-murdering hedonists. Now, I don't think this guy is strictly speaking as a Republican, but clearly this is the faction that that Party has tied itself to.

I don't want to get too much into Abortion or Gay rights here (maybe later, when i'm drunk... drunker), but it never ceases to amaze me that the Anti-Abortion factions are always painting the pro-choice segment as reveling in abortion,  like we all use aborted zygotes as breakfast spread or something. During one of the debates, Obama made the point that reasonable people could search for a common ground about limiting abortions. This is a reasonable position. Reasonable people agree that ideally there would be no Abortion, but scared girls are going to seek this as an answer and they should be protected.  An unreasonable position is demonizing your opposition and comparing them to child-sacrificing orgy-goers. I mean, no matter how much fun that sounds like. 


The Religion

I can't remember, but I believe I've said this before. The Republican Party is now a religion. My first example, again by my man, Steve Benen, comes courtesy of everyone's favorite Conservo blowhard.

I'm not going to completely reiterate the posts, but basically here is a recap. Rush Limbaugh started a meme and it has been picked up a bit by other Converobots. The theory goes like this: Democrats wrecked the economy for political gains. 

Of course, it all makes sense. The Democrats drive the economy down, blame it on the Republicans, the People buy it despite the clear innocence of Republicans and, Score! Huge, talkin' HUGE Election gains and the mother-fucking-Presidency! 

Whoo! Those Clever Democrats. I mean, despite the fact that about everyone with any non-ideological stake in this is sort of blaming rampant deregulation and blind faith in the free-economy for the disaster. Of course, both those things are major tenants of Democratic philosophy. Oh wait, that's not right.

Now, conservatives and liberals are going to have legitimate philosophical differences and there are always going to be people who defend their side no matter what. But lately, it seems to me, we have had a legitimate Test and consequently compete FAILURE of Conservative politics. Now, rather than reorganizing, and perhaps engaging in soul-searching retrospection, Rush and his Ilk find it much easier to continue to blame the other side rather than ask tough questions about the legitimacy of their own beliefs. 

It's probably not the legitimate definition, but in my mind, continued blind adherence to disproved (or unprovable) beliefs smacks seriously of religion.


Music Idiocy

I'll be linking a lot to Steve Benen today, but the man was on fire. Anyway, this is a good post on Warner Music pulling it's videos from YouTube.

I swear, I do not understand the music industry and I kind of hope they burn. The problem with the music industry is that they themselves have gotten too big, but unlike some industries it does not matter if they fail. I mean, I feel sorry for all the people with the cool fucking jobs that are suddenly going to have to make copies for corporate law firms, like someone else I know.

But the times they have changed. You get a hit single and you can't sell it for a quarter to half the teenagers in America. Digital Music is not the industries fault. They just can't sell how they used to. However, the way they have structured their business is their problem. They have a HUGE fucking infrastructure to maintain. They have bonuses to give out and Executives to pay. The prices of CDs are huge and most of that money goes not to the artist, not to the cost of production, but to label cost and advertising. You don't want Madonna's New CD? YES YOU DO!

Of course, there are legitimate expenses to run a label, but places like Warner have gone way too far. For a long time the big labels have been as top-heavy as a metal video extra. The Reckoning has come, fuckers. 

The industry had a choice back in the day. Embrace a technology that was Clearly not going away, or treat the consumer as criminal. They made the wrong choice then, and they've clearly learned jack-shit.

However, that doesn't mean, when you see a band that clearly doesn't have any money that you shouldn't buy their CD, particularly if they are on an indie label. And don't burn it for all your friends. You cheap fucking bastards.


The Blago Report

So, the Blago Report is officially out and Surprise, Sur-fucking-prise, Obama is about as innocent as he claimed. 

Now, there is a lot of hair-splitting about how Obama said he had "No Contact" which is of course Literally true, but still smacks a little of politics. However, this is not a "I did not have Sexual Relations with that woman" moment no matter how much the press would like it to be. 

What really amazes me is that NO one is really mentioning (not even liberal blogs that i've seen) that Bush has been influence peddling for Years. Except Bush's favorite currencies are Loyalty and Incompetence. Ok, that was a low-blow, his favorite currencies are Loyalty and loving the Un-born and Reagan. Not necessarily in that order.

Anyway, I don't expect the Conservosphere is going to give this shit up (i mean, why would they, proof of innocence is NOT proof of innocence, right?). However, it does lose a little steam, a typical post, and one i enjoy comes from Hot Air.  Of course, it is not entirely free of innuendo. My favorite is the continual unrelenting condescension to both Obama and his Supporters. I can see The One is not going anywhere either. 


Sunday, December 14, 2008

More Blago..

Steve Benen at washingtonmonthly.com makes essentially the same point I was making about tying Obama to Blago, but, you know, without all the swearing and mild threats of violence. Or threats of mild violence. The fact remains, there still is no there there.


Saturday, December 13, 2008

NOW they pay attention

It is a well known fact that Republicans only pay attention to political scandal (or the lack thereof) when it's affecting Democrats. After years of being lied to by the lyingist administration of quite possibly the entire history of the union, now they get all worked up. 

I'm of course referring to the Blagojevich scandal.  All the Republican blogs (i'm looking at you particularly Michelle Malkin, you fuck) are all up in arms desperate to make something of this. 

Here is but one example. I'm not entirely sure this guy is of the more psychotic variety of Republican, but he's making a patently ridiculous argument.  After the 8 years of catastrophe this one little bit of guilt by association is supposed to make everyone lose all faith in Obama? I have no doubt that Obama is playing a bit of cover-his-ass. Rahmbo does seem to have a bit of a bad streak. But seriously, all the facts point to Obama and Blago not being the best of buddies. There is just no scandal here. Obama seems to take governing seriously, he is appointing smart people and laying out a plan to actually help, rather than destroy the economy. 

It's sad that the Insane Conservative Posse is not even remotely cowed by the severe beatings of the last two major election cycles, but I'm not entirely surprised.

Fortunately, most people finally have decided what is important and what ain't, so Obama's numbers are hanging strong, despite all these efforts to find a there there.


Friday, December 12, 2008

Kim Jong Il

So, Kim Jong Il was not killed by his stroke, as I've just learned from Ms. Maddow. I guess Billy Joel was right.

Ok, enough fucking around, my next post will be serious.



I just burnt the soup I was reheating while I was crafting that last post. Do you see how I suffer for you people?  I will expect gifts and worship.


So, the singing coal carolers are done. For those people unaware of the singing coal, apparently the 'Clean' coal people had animated lumps of coal singing pro-'Clean' coal 'technology lyrics to everyone's favorite X-mas carols. 

Now, apparently, the coal people are sort of blaming the liberal blogosphere and Rachael Maddow for mocking them enough that they did not get any traffic at their site. 

Seriously? I'm sure the mocking didn't help, but we have real viral videos out there, you fucking idiots! We are an easily distracted people, but you have to give us Something, goddamnit! Are you people seriously surprised we didn't want to watch badly animated lumps of COAL sing different lyrics to fucking CHRISTMAS Carols!? The same X-mas Carols we will be bombarded with  24-Fucking-Hours a DAY for the next MONTH!? Seriously? Seriously.  Jesus, people. Peddle your pollution elsewhere, we're bored.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

How DARE You make $25/hour

Why oh why are the Republicans so hateful toward the Unions? Basically, the Republicans will only allow the bailout to go through when they break the back of the UAW.  

I'll try to link to it, but Keith Olbermann (granted, a partisan source) has a good report tonight on the efforts of Mitch McConnell and his band of Hating Haters to crush the auto bailout.  Republicans hate unions because it gives the people power to force their employers to listen to them. This allows money to flow to everybody, not just uphill. 

This is kind of a disjointed post, but I'm really angry at these fucks. And it's been covered at length by smarter people than me. But, I firmly believe the UNION DID NOT CRASH GM! Just Did NOT fucking happen. The people in charge are playing a game here in order to crush the union. Unions are dangerous to power. They dilute it, make it harder to control. The power junkies will always try to crush something like that. 

When I hear Mitch Mc-fucking-Connell (I don't know if I'm spelling his name right, and I do not care) say word one about getting rid of Huge packages to the CEOs of dying fucking banking institutions, I'll start listening to his dumb hateful ass about Unions.

Disclosure: In order to make a quick buck, I'm the proud owner of rapidly devaluating GM stock. I like to think I'd be in the union's corner in any case. Pretty safe bet on that.


Sunday, December 7, 2008


Tom Brokaw asks the Tough questions.  Again, and not to belabor the point, but this is the sort of thing about which I can NOT give a fuck. You know what, Obama, smoke away. Have a pack on me. Or two, or three. In fact, I'll dig up a fucking hash pipe for you, just please, pretty please, do not, in Any Fucking Way, govern as your predecessor has. 

Of course, this attitude is probably due to my lax moral standards. Thank god for our serious press corp to pick up the slack. Jesus. At any rate, I didn't see this portion of the interview, but I suspect it was something of a throw-away by Brokaw. But clearly the Yahoo people are taking this seriously. I am curious to see if the Right tries to make a big deal of Barack's smoking. They have funny morals sometimes, but they always seem to side with the tobacco industry.

And, for clarity, I don't give a fuck about Bush's drinking either. Many, many fine world leaders have drunk like fish. Bush, of course, was not one of them. Maybe he shouldn't have given it up, might have helped.


Friday, December 5, 2008


Ok, I was going to try to get this post out before Thanksgiving, but I didn't make it. Anyway, I'm sure you've seen it, but in case you haven't, check out this video.

Basically, Palin, everyone's favorite V.P. candidate, pardons a turkey and then conducts the post-pardon interview in front of a GODDAMN TURKEY KILLING MACHINE!  Now, I personally don't care about the turkeys. People eat turkeys and obviously they are generally killed first. 

But a couple points. First, the choice of locale has NO effect on Palin. Part of this, I'm sure, is that a woman who thinks it's fine to gun down wolves from Airplanes is not going to flinch at a few turkeys buying it behind her. 

But, second, and more importantly, it demonstrates a Complete inability to understand Irony. I think Palin would understand the concept if you explain it to her. Or, if you pointed an example out to her, she would maybe do her little fake laugh and say, "oh, I see, you're kidding." But she wouldn't find if funny. And the deadlier aspects of Irony are clearly lost on this woman. 

One of the common themes I see in current Republican behavior is that they behave more like a religion than a political party. I will hit this as long as I do this blog (about another week, i figure), but I this is also behavior I think that is a common trait among religious Fundamentalists.  I don't want to say Religious Fundamentalism breeds and insensitivity to irony, more like the other way around. People without a sense of irony are DRAWN to Religious Fundamentalism. 

Standing in front of a Turkey Execution immediately AFTER pardoning a fucking Turkey does not faze Palin because she is incapable of recognizing the absurdity of the situation. This inability does tend to affect a lot of Republican rhetoric. This is the mindset that lets them label a black man, raised by a single mother, who truly had to crawl up from the bottom,  and could only go to a good school on a scholarship he earned, an Elitist. This is why they can say, "government get out of the way" while they are running to become part of the FUCKING GOVERNMENT. I must ask, how can you function normally in modern society without being able to understand Irony? Again, the answer is, clearly, you can't.


Get over it

Does anyone remember 2000? Remember there were these two guys, Gary Bush and Alberto Gore. Where are those guys now?

Ok, so everyone remembers 2000, but lets have a refresher. Gore wins the popular vote and Bush ekes out a victory by a slim electoral vote margin in, say it with me, Florida. Florida, where Bush's Brother, Jeb, is Governor. Florida, where Katherine Harris was Secretary of State and responsible for certifying the final recount (or something. She was fucking important, ok!).  Funny story, Ms. Harris was ALSO The Chief Chimp's campaign co-chair in Florida. Now, some might call this a conflict of interest. Of course, a LOT of other people would only call it a conflict of interest ONLY if this situation happened to the Republicans (I'm looking at you, Limbaugh, You Fuck). 

Now, here we have a highly contested state with some Serious conflicts of interest. But is the ultimate result decided in a hot and heavy recount like the one currently going on in Minnesota? No, it is decided by the Supreme Court in a suit filed by Mr. Bush where a recount is STOPPED and Bush declared the winner. 

Now, what was the advice of Republicans to Democrats in the face of such a highly dubious election result? Get over it.  Moveon.org? Get over it.  Daily Kos? Get over it. Just a general person with some sense of fairness and decency? Get over it.

So, now, the shoe is on the other foot. Except it isn't. Obama/McCain is not a contested election. In fact, given today's circumstances the result was the closest you could have to a blow-out. But in the next couple of posts I will outline a few of the temper tantrums by certain people on the Right that are actually getting some play in the mainstream media (i'm looking at you, Hannity, you fuck). And to those people I have a word of advice. I feel your pain. We Democrats (or more accurately, in my case, liberal-leaning independents) are actually kind of used to losing. So, my friends, I fear you will not listen to me, but for your own peace of mind...

Get. The Fuck. Over. It. And, more importantly, quit bother us while we get the country back on track. Finally.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Nixon tapes!

For those of you like me, (anybody?) a new batch of Nixon tapes is a great early X-mas present. The great thing about Nixon is that he was Evil and Smart. As opposed to our current Chimp in Chief who is too dumb to be evil in an interesting way, just a banal horrifying way. And as for smart, well, not to repeat myself, but he's just not.

At any rate, Digby covers it, so I'm not gonna.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008


So, as much as I'm enjoying life now that a real live, responsible adult is about to be in charge, two of my favorite media-type people today have put out some disturbing news about two of Obama's non-Clinton cabinet picks. Both Glenn Greenwald and Matt Taibbi have blog posts today about Cabinet picks, Attorney General and HHS respectively. Basically, their point is that these people are not exactly the blameless, shiny-white souls you might hope. 

Now, along with many people I cheered and cried when Obama won the election. However, I've never deified Obama (actually, I think most Liberals don't deify him, no matter how many Wingnuts think we do). It takes a special person to be president. These people are inherently untrustworthy. They have to EARN that shit. And even when they earn it, you have to watch them. Why? Power corrupts. And if you want that much power, you're likely already corrupt. 

Now, regarding his potentially corrupt cabinet picks, Obama will be setting the tone and he's very smart and presumably not totally twisted and evil yet. So if he's setting the tone, perhaps the demons from the pasts of his underlings will not come back to bite us all. We can only hope. But you have to watch them. Obama is nominating people with experience, and with experience means you've been rolling around in the pig-sty that is Washington for a long time. Nobody's clean, everyone's guilty. If the last 8 years have taught us anything it should be this, All these fuckers need watched.



I feel the need to weigh in on the whole Clinton madness. And it has really solidified something for me. I hate the media. At least as far as the Clintons are concerned. What is it about the Clintons that drives these people to madness? I mean, I've never really understood the soap opera fascination thing, so maybe that's it. Guy cheats on his wife. Guy happens to be president. I have to tell you, I DO NOT give a fuck. Just don't. As compared to Bush he could've been blown by every woman on the East Coast, one every 10 minutes for 8 years, just don't, you know, destroy the free world. Hell, the whole world.

And YET, even now with the world burning all around us with Bush still fiddling away, all that these people can discuss are the Clintons. And behind all the Clinton talk is always the blow job.  Forget the Fucking Blow Job, already! The world is burning! When your house is burning do you sit and talk about the time your husband went to far at the strip club 8 years ago? NO, you get the fuck out and FOCUS on what is actually important! What a fucking concept.   

A final thought. The other thing annoying me is the continual contention that Obama was somehow elected to save us from the Clinton Administration. Example. (Common headline, "This Is Not Change We Can Believe In"). Obama is a Democrat. Democrats tend to like and/or respect the Clintons. The change was away from the fucking Republican Nightmare we have been living in for the past 8 years. The Change he was selling was change from Bush NOT Clinton. This is not hard to understand, please try to get your collective column-writing heads around that. Thanks.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I can not even begin to say how much I hate the Republicans for going after the unions for the mess over at the auto industry.  I'm not going to provide a link, it should be easy enough to find; just Google "UAW, bailout, GM, Republican Assholes" and it should pop right up.

Once again, I am not an expert on this stuff, but the Execs of these industries just took Private FUCKING Jets to a meeting with congress. To beg for money! Now you want to tell me some guy's pension is bringing down these companies? 

It seems the unions have made concessions. Of course they have. Unions exist to make sure the workers are not getting screwed by management. For good reason, management has ALWAYS screwed workers. That's why there are unions. However, I would think the Union Leaders would have a keen grasp that if the auto industry fails then the jobs go too. Along with the union. 

Only Republicans could make an argument this fucking dumb. Remember when they said Rock n' Roll contained Subliminal Messages to tell the fans to kill themselves? Yeah, that's the ultimate way to build a fan base. "Hey! Thanks for buying our record, now Off yourself, we'll get new fans for the next one."

Fucking idiots. As soon as I see a Republican flip out over the private jets, I'll start listening to them about the unions. Oh wait. No I won't.


Oh, FOX!

Please, FOX News, don't be jealous. From Gawker: apparently Fox ran a story about how Bush is still the President and that the Office of the President-Elect doesn't really exist and Obama doesn't really have any power, so says the Constitution. (Remember, the Constitution is all powerful during a Democratic Administration.) I couldn't find the actual link on Fox's site, but in fairness I didn't look too hard.

Now, I can see why FOX is upset. The only thing keeping the economy from tumbling like your granny down a flight of stairs is his daily press conferences from behind that podium that has FOX so upset. Obama is basically saying, "Please, keep it together until the Chimp is gone. I'm on my way with all these Serious, fact-acknowledging people." 

So, my question for FOX is would you prefer Obama shut up and your 401K continue to shrink? Because quite frankly, mine could use a boost.


Monday, November 24, 2008

Hannity and Who?

Well, Colmes finally quit. The world waits for a single liberal who gives a shit. 

Saturday, November 22, 2008

The difference

The main reason I think that Democrats are always preferable to Republicans is that Democrats actually believe the Government can work.  Now, I don't know that this has always been the case, but it certainly has been the case for the last couple of decades. Reagan famously said, "Government is the problem and not the solution." How can people who honestly believe this run a government?  The answer, clearly, is that they can't.

Now, finally, it seems we have a bunch of serious people taking the reins again. The job will be next to fucking impossible. And Bush is making it harder in his last 60 days.  One of the things they are pulling is Borrowing.  All former presidents do this to a certain extent, but this is just classic Bush. He apparently is very busy cramming cronies and sycophants in positions they do not belong in. Important positions that will affect how smoothy this country will run for years to come. Bush and his ilk are irresponsible, unserious men and the damage they have done will continue to stink up the joint long after they have gone.

Bash in Baghdad

Umm.. Why was I not invited to the burning Bush in effigy party? I hate people that don't get the invitations in the mail on time. It's called Evite, people!

Seriously, not wishing any physical damage on the worst president of all time (That needs an acronym better than WPAT. Actually, that kind of works, the Dubya-PAT), and being burned in effigy by an angry mob anywhere is not a good thing (though, I am shocked it doesn't happen more. Like everywhere, every Saturday.)

However, I, along with just about everyone else, just wishes he'd become Baseball Commissioner or something and not the leader of the mother-fucking Free World. Granted, I would hate to see the MLB crumble, but better than the entire... well, planet. And besides, then Vince McMahon would be free to launch the XLB and that would just rock.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Wendy's. Danger.

For those of you who have not heard of Glenn Beck, I beg you to stop reading. 

You were warned. Glenn Beck is basically the guy CNN hired when they saw Fox News was doing so well.  He is a Conservative (i.e. Republican) gasbag. At any rate, he was recently threatened in a Wendy's while trying to buy some Frostys.  Now, I don't think anyone should get their ass kicked, particularly by an angry trucker, but pointing out Glenn Beck's hypocrisy here would be, well, pointless.  Read the link, he's genuinely shocked that America is SO angry, when it's assholes like him that have been stoking the fires of hatred for so long (ok, so I did point out his hypocrisy, but just a little). Now, he clearly doesn't see himself this way, so it's, again, rather pointless.

What I do find interesting is his response when his bodyguards initially do not want him to go into the Wendy's. He thinks, "I mean, it's a truck stop. How much trouble am I going to get in in a truck stop? Everybody here you can trust." Yes, Glenn. All Truckers are loyal, hard-working Americans  (i.e. Republicans). 

Again, this is the heart of the flawed and condescending attitudes of Right-wing pundits. They figure, hey these truck-stop guys have blue collar jobs, they love mom and apple pie and hate the long hairs. People like Beck spend so much time dealing in the outmoded jargon of the sixties they don't even think for a minute that maybe things are different now. Glenn, the country has made a subtle shift. Not a big shift, but Blue Collar workers, after holding their ankles for the last 8 (40, actually) years, are not necessarily buying your bull shit anymore. (Or O'Reilly's for that matter, who was just on the Daily Show preaching to Jon Stewart about hanging out too much in 'the Village." Christ, where do you thing YOU live, Bill?). Glenn thought he was safe because he was among 'his people' aka dumb racists. Trust me, Glenn. Hang out in the CNN studios. Everyone will kiss your ass because you're on TV, girls will blow you because you're rich, and no one will call you out for being the dumb racist fuck you are.


The Antichrist.. Again

Newsweek. You are dead to me. Not that I read you anyway, so I guess you can keep publishing your UNBELIEVABLE BULLSHIT!

Seriously. Newsweek printed an article entitled, "Is Obama the Antichrist?" Now, unlike some of the liberal bloggers I've seen on this, I'm not entirely pissed that they are reporting on this phenomenon. My problem, is the complete lack of mocking. These people that think this are fucking morons. They are gone. You can not reason with these fucking people. I've given up on them. The only thing you can do is, at the very fucking least, don't LEGITIMATIZE their FUCKING INSANE POSITIONS. Jesus, Newsweek. 

Now, believing in the First Amendment like a good liberal, I don't have a problem with these people per se, but I don't want them getting serious attention. They need mocking attention. They need to be a sidebar to the wonderful things they are doing with psychotropic drugs these days. They are insane, or at the very least they are mislead, confused and need serious help. But it's a religious position, so it's off limits to criticism in polite society. 

So, not criticizing here just asking. And all I'm asking (and I know you people aren't reading this blog) if you actually hold the idea that the bible is 100% literally true and Obama is and/or may be the Antichrist, stop using our shit. And by OUR I mean the science people. Stop using our medicine. Stop watching our Televisions. Stop enjoying our movies with our fucking awesome special effects. You guys want to live in the Dark Ages, fine. Grab a sword, grab a bow and arrow and move into the fucking forest and live the dreams, you troglodytic fucks.  In fact, don't even grab a sword, it might be made of steel and steel requires SCIENCE!



Democrats. I'm not asking much. I'm not asking you to grow a pair. This would be too much to hope. You've tromped in two elections. You've got a lame duck president with an approval rating that would take first in the world limbo championship. You've got a President-Elect that has electrified people like nothing I've seen in my life.

And yet, NOTHING Happens To JOE. WTF? Again, you don't have to grow a pair. I'm just asking for one to drop. One ball. Come on. You can do it. CONCENTRATE.

Egad. This guy is in charge of the Homeland Security Committee. He is a total Hawk. This will come back to bite Obama on the ass.  I hope the White House is roomy inside, because if Obama really is keeping his friends close and enemies closer, now he has to find room to put all of you ball-less jack asses.


Congratulations, Alaska!

After being the home state of THE most Unqualified person for the Vice Presidency ever (and we're talking less qualified than Dan Quayle here, people), you have apparently now very narrowly managed to NOT vote in the first convicted felon to the Senate. You've had a big year. Take a bow. And a break. For a decade or two, please. The rest of us want to go back to thinking of you as an exotic land full of individualists, like Wolverine, pristine wilderness, majestic caribou and hidden caches of Oil that we can argue over, but never actually drill for.


Monday, November 17, 2008


Who approved this? 

For those who are too busy for links, the Big Apple Clowns rang the opening bell on Wall Street today. Are you fucking mocking us, Wall Street?  My 401k, already meager and laughable, is now reduced to Mad Max type wreckage and desolation thanks to you stupid fucks. Seriously. Clowns? For Christ's sake, people.


Fiscal Responsibility

This has been making the rounds on far more respectable blogs than this. Apparently CNBC has been kind enough to track all the money currently spent bailing out various ailing industries.  Apparently the total now spent is approximately 4.25 TRILLION FUCKING DOLLARS!

Now, I'm not even going to pretend I understand all this, I'm still working my way through Economics for Dummies.  Seriously, a good book for the dummies out there.

However, I do know this. From this point on if ever you find yourself in a conversation with a Republican and he says his party is the party of "Fiscal Responsibility" you can look him in the eye, give a little smile and say, "Shut your fucking pie hole." 


America's Mayor

So, Rudy is not ruling out a run for the White House in the future. Which begs the question, How FUCKING delusional is Rudy? Seriously. Does he talk to elves? Does he think drinking virgin blood cures cancer? Does he think bald is beautiful?

Rudy really doesn't sell well to anyone but that elusive group known as New York City Republicans, which, I'm told, tend to be be more socially liberal than your average Republican found loud and proud in the wilds of Alabama and Pennsyltucky. The Republican Party's antics have largely erased this group of social-liberals/fiscal-conservatives elsewhere over the years, or sent them screaming to the Libertarians. Now, clearly playing the hard conservative didn't work exceptionally well for McCain this year (despite the protests of Limbaugh), so perhaps in 4 or 8 years, depending on how Obama does, this group may grow. But right now, Rudy just doesn't test well. 

For those, like Rudy, who do not remember, Rudolph got his ass thumped like Tarzan's chest during the Republican Primaries. Let's have a little stroll through his greatest hits.

Iowa: 3%
New Hampshire: 9%
Michigan: 3%
Nevada: 4%

You get the idea. Rudy's high water mark was Florida (yep, only 3% in New York). He got 15%. Now for those who don't remember, Rudy hit Florida hard hoping to win so he could get some cred for Super Tuesday. And he STILL only got 15% and Rudy finally went home to the loving arms of his third wife and the warm bath of his personal delusions. 

Good luck, Rudy, I hope you run, I could use a good laugh.


Already worn out

It's clear that the media is already running the phrases "No drama Obama" and "a Team of Rivals" into the fucking ground.  Obama has been President-Elect for about 2 weeks now and already those phrases are like a sounding dog whistle drilling into my lizard brain. Soon will be the blackouts, the wakings in strange locations, the unexplainable blood on my clothes and face. Please, media, fucking stop.

However, I do have to say, unlike most media narratives, this one isn't all that terrible, even if the phrase is immediately annoying and only becoming more so. After the McCain Insane Clown Show and the Bush debacle in general, an unflappable president is making me giddy with excitement. Yes, giddy. 


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The State List

I was hoping to write more today about how Awesome things have suddenly become in this world, however, the only think matching the enormity of Barack's win is, I believe, my hangover.

Anyway, once again a presidential election has helped crystalize my list of places I will never live, the current list:

North Dakota
South Dakota
West Virginia
South Carolina

And Texas and Louisiana, you're on notice, but you are saved my complete scorn by Austin and New Orleans, respectively.

And for all you Democrats with the misfortune of residing in those states, stay strong, but remember, things are so nice on the coast.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Landslide, Part II

So, what would a new blog be without a electoral vote prediction. I have chosen to be optimistic; probably foolishly so, and over the next 12 hours we shall see. But, after 8 years of Bush and 2 years following this bitch of an election process, I got a right.

I predict Obama 375 to McCain 163. Yes, that's right I'm predicting an official landslide. To make this prediction I relied mostly on Slate.com and fivethirtyeight.com and their excellent prognosticative abilities. I gave Obama everything Strong Democrat and Leaning Democrat, the same for McCain (though, can McCain lose his home state? Nah, but it’s nice to think about. Com’on, Phoenix!)

So, that leaves the Toss Up states. I gave everything to Obama, with the exceptions of Montana, North Dakota and Georgia. I just can’t picture those going Democrat; I think they are just teasing me. The others, with higher urban populations I think are going Obama.

Why? Well, I don’t really believe in the Bradley Effect despite all the efforts from the (rightly) paranoid Left and the hopeful Right to turn it into this year’s boogie man. I’ve seen little efforts of the racists to hide their racism this cycle, so I doubt there’s much lying to pollsters going on. However, I think there are two other effects I do believe in at work.

First, I think the Cell Phone Only portion of the population has been under-polled and is going to swing OH and FL for sure, and probably VA and IN, to Obama. Haven’t seen too much reporting on this, probably because it could be good for the dems (again, left paranoid; and why would the right bring it up?), but what I have read suggests anywhere from a two to four percent swing in certain states. In a swing state that's huge.

Second, I think there is a bit of a bandwagon effect going on everywhere that will help people get over the trepidation of casting their vote for the tan man with the funny name.

Besides, FL & OH have screwed us all twice now, and if they mess this up, well...

So yep. Optimism. First time ever. Feels weird.


Monday, November 3, 2008

The Antichrist

I can't stress enough the collective fit the Howler Monkeys will have upon an Obama victory.

I think the insanity over Obama can be summed up with one little factoid. It is certainly not one of the more mainstream fears raised by the right, but it does exist. There are actual Americans that actually believe that Obama is the ACTUAL ANTICHRIST.

Now, I have been guilty of saying more than a few harsh things about George W. Bush. However, I, and I'd wager most any liberal you ask, does not believe anything as insane as George W. Bush being the ACTUAL Mother-fucking ANTI-CHRIST. He or she might think Bush is a horrible president, a repugnant human-being, a war-criminal, a drinker of newborn baby blood, but NOT the AntiChrist. And he's spent 8 long years trying Damn hard to prove it.

Basically, the Republican's have been tying their politics to Christian Fundamentalism for 40 years and these are the final fruits of their labors. After decades of these efforts a small minority of Republicans actually think the Democrats have nominated the most Evil Character in all of Christianity.

Now, if this view was held by only a few random cranks, I would just let it go. But I think this belief is more prevalent than any reasonable person would want to believe. Now, why do I think this? Because no less than Tim LaHaye, co-author of the incredibly popular, and just as poorly written, Left Behind series has weighed in on this issue. Tim LaHaye is a reigning expert on the Apocalypse, because he had the Vision to craft a work of pop fiction based on the book of Revelations. Yeah, that's never been done before, you original bastard. Christ.

So, when the question was put to him, "Could Barack Obama be the Anti-Christ?" Did he spit out whatever he was drinking? Did he laugh hysterically and sputter, "Of course not, you lunatic."? Did he stare at his inquisitor in dumbfounded fear, end the interview, and go home to quietly weep for the sad state of human affairs? No. Instead he actually replied saying:

"I can see by the language he uses why people think he could be the antichrist," adds LaHaye, "but from my reading of scripture, he doesn't meet the criteria. There is no indication in the Bible that the antichrist will be an American."

So, rest assured that no American citizen can be the antichrist, he can only say things that remind you of the antichrist, so says the grand prophet Tim LaHaye. Thank god. I was fucking worried there for a minute.


Dick (ahem) Cheney

Seriously. Does this guy even realize how unpopular he is? Couldn't they keep him chained up for Three more days?

I'll say one thing about Bush, at least he's had the good sense to mostly keep his nose out of this election.


Growing up in north central PA without cable, most of the news I was exposed to came out of Buffalo. And I got to see those poor bastards go to four consecutive Super Bowls and each year have their collective balls nailed to the wall. Not being a Buffalo fan it was wonderful. 

For those who do not know, coma victims, amnesiacs, the thing about Buffalo is that they are insane about their football. And in the run-up to each contest there would be lights and decorations and bragging and on the local TV stations they would run congratulation and good luck ads from the local newscasters and, naturally, it would be nearly the lone subject of the sports newscast.

However, after each loss, nothing. I honestly can't even remember the Buffalo news reporting the loss. It was as if the Super Bowl had never occurred. 

Now, the question is, tomorrow, if by some miracle Obama wins,  well, will Fox News just go on pretending that the election never happened? Will they pretend John McCain won? Will they pretend Bush was crowned King? 

I guess we just have to wait and see.


The Landslide

This is the part where I beg everyone who reads this in the next 24 hours to get your ass out and vote. (Unless you're voting McCain, then you know, if you feel you HAVE to, go ahead.)

Unlike most, probably smarter, Democrats I am fairly confident McCain will get his flabby ass handed to him tomorrow. However, this is not enough in the world we live in.  In 2004 when Bush won re-election the howler monkeys went crazy about how he finally had a mandate.  The Chimp had finally been legitimately elected. What was his Mandate? Bush won by 3 million votes, 34 electoral votes, and this works out to about 1.5 percent of ALL the votes cast. 

Trust me, a 1.5% win is NOT enough for a legitimate Obama victory. The Howler Monkeys have already begun to convince everyone that this election is illegitimate and has been stolen by that swarthy man they have running on the Democratic ticket. Obama needs to Crush McCain. He needs to beat him like a Gong. So, no matter what state you live in vote for Obama. 

The upshot of all this is that no matter WHAT happens the Howlers will howl. But Hannity, O'Reilly and their ilk will look FAR more ridiculous trying to claim that the democrats stole the election if Obama crushes McCain.  Given the modern standard I figure 350 E.V. and 7% of the popular vote should do it. So get your ass out there and pump those numbers.



One more goddamn, narcissistic, navel-gazing asshole. 

Why, you may ask.  Surely the world does not need one more blog. I agree. But I'm bored and haven't been writing lately, and by lately I refer to loosely the last decade, give or take the odd week.

So, why is it called The Last 300 Days?  A better question. Originally this was meant to be a chronicle of the last 300 days of the Bush administration and all the various things he was doing to piss me off. Currently the Chimp in Chief is on about day 77 and counting (WHY does this country give the Chief Executive 2 1/2 months to screw up after we boot his ass out?) As you can see I have not been doing a good job of keeping up, however I still like the last 300 days. 

It occurred to me that even after the predicted Obama victory things will stay interesting. There is a lot of pressure on him to walk the waters from the left and a lot of people on the right hoping for him to crash and burn and slinging gasoline to help the process. 

Besides. Maybe the Apocalypse is nigh and 300 days from now we will be watching the holy being yanked bodily into the light and the rest of us writhing down as the earth splits wide and demons run amuck.  Hey, you don't know.  Or maybe McCain will actually win. Same difference.

Well, anyway...