Scapegoats

I can not even begin to say how much I hate the Republicans for going after the unions for the mess over at the auto industry.  I'm not going to provide a link, it should be easy enough to find; just Google "UAW, bailout, GM, Republican Assholes" and it should pop right up.

Once again, I am not an expert on this stuff, but the Execs of these industries just took Private FUCKING Jets to a meeting with congress. To beg for money! Now you want to tell me some guy's pension is bringing down these companies? 

It seems the unions have made concessions. Of course they have. Unions exist to make sure the workers are not getting screwed by management. For good reason, management has ALWAYS screwed workers. That's why there are unions. However, I would think the Union Leaders would have a keen grasp that if the auto industry fails then the jobs go too. Along with the union. 

Only Republicans could make an argument this fucking dumb. Remember when they said Rock n' Roll contained Subliminal Messages to tell the fans to kill themselves? Yeah, that's the ultimate way to build a fan base. "Hey! Thanks for buying our record, now Off yourself, we'll get new fans for the next one."

Fucking idiots. As soon as I see a Republican flip out over the private jets, I'll start listening to them about the unions. Oh wait. No I won't.

Anyway...

Oh, FOX!

Please, FOX News, don't be jealous. From Gawker: apparently Fox ran a story about how Bush is still the President and that the Office of the President-Elect doesn't really exist and Obama doesn't really have any power, so says the Constitution. (Remember, the Constitution is all powerful during a Democratic Administration.) I couldn't find the actual link on Fox's site, but in fairness I didn't look too hard.

Now, I can see why FOX is upset. The only thing keeping the economy from tumbling like your granny down a flight of stairs is his daily press conferences from behind that podium that has FOX so upset. Obama is basically saying, "Please, keep it together until the Chimp is gone. I'm on my way with all these Serious, fact-acknowledging people." 

So, my question for FOX is would you prefer Obama shut up and your 401K continue to shrink? Because quite frankly, mine could use a boost.

Anyway...

Hannity and Who?

Well, Colmes finally quit. The world waits for a single liberal who gives a shit. 

The difference

The main reason I think that Democrats are always preferable to Republicans is that Democrats actually believe the Government can work.  Now, I don't know that this has always been the case, but it certainly has been the case for the last couple of decades. Reagan famously said, "Government is the problem and not the solution." How can people who honestly believe this run a government?  The answer, clearly, is that they can't.

Now, finally, it seems we have a bunch of serious people taking the reins again. The job will be next to fucking impossible. And Bush is making it harder in his last 60 days.  One of the things they are pulling is Borrowing.  All former presidents do this to a certain extent, but this is just classic Bush. He apparently is very busy cramming cronies and sycophants in positions they do not belong in. Important positions that will affect how smoothy this country will run for years to come. Bush and his ilk are irresponsible, unserious men and the damage they have done will continue to stink up the joint long after they have gone.

Bash in Baghdad

Umm.. Why was I not invited to the burning Bush in effigy party? I hate people that don't get the invitations in the mail on time. It's called Evite, people!

Seriously, not wishing any physical damage on the worst president of all time (That needs an acronym better than WPAT. Actually, that kind of works, the Dubya-PAT), and being burned in effigy by an angry mob anywhere is not a good thing (though, I am shocked it doesn't happen more. Like everywhere, every Saturday.)

However, I, along with just about everyone else, just wishes he'd become Baseball Commissioner or something and not the leader of the mother-fucking Free World. Granted, I would hate to see the MLB crumble, but better than the entire... well, planet. And besides, then Vince McMahon would be free to launch the XLB and that would just rock.

Anyway...

Wendy's. Danger.

For those of you who have not heard of Glenn Beck, I beg you to stop reading. 

You were warned. Glenn Beck is basically the guy CNN hired when they saw Fox News was doing so well.  He is a Conservative (i.e. Republican) gasbag. At any rate, he was recently threatened in a Wendy's while trying to buy some Frostys.  Now, I don't think anyone should get their ass kicked, particularly by an angry trucker, but pointing out Glenn Beck's hypocrisy here would be, well, pointless.  Read the link, he's genuinely shocked that America is SO angry, when it's assholes like him that have been stoking the fires of hatred for so long (ok, so I did point out his hypocrisy, but just a little). Now, he clearly doesn't see himself this way, so it's, again, rather pointless.

What I do find interesting is his response when his bodyguards initially do not want him to go into the Wendy's. He thinks, "I mean, it's a truck stop. How much trouble am I going to get in in a truck stop? Everybody here you can trust." Yes, Glenn. All Truckers are loyal, hard-working Americans  (i.e. Republicans). 

Again, this is the heart of the flawed and condescending attitudes of Right-wing pundits. They figure, hey these truck-stop guys have blue collar jobs, they love mom and apple pie and hate the long hairs. People like Beck spend so much time dealing in the outmoded jargon of the sixties they don't even think for a minute that maybe things are different now. Glenn, the country has made a subtle shift. Not a big shift, but Blue Collar workers, after holding their ankles for the last 8 (40, actually) years, are not necessarily buying your bull shit anymore. (Or O'Reilly's for that matter, who was just on the Daily Show preaching to Jon Stewart about hanging out too much in 'the Village." Christ, where do you thing YOU live, Bill?). Glenn thought he was safe because he was among 'his people' aka dumb racists. Trust me, Glenn. Hang out in the CNN studios. Everyone will kiss your ass because you're on TV, girls will blow you because you're rich, and no one will call you out for being the dumb racist fuck you are.

Anyway...

The Antichrist.. Again

Newsweek. You are dead to me. Not that I read you anyway, so I guess you can keep publishing your UNBELIEVABLE BULLSHIT!

Seriously. Newsweek printed an article entitled, "Is Obama the Antichrist?" Now, unlike some of the liberal bloggers I've seen on this, I'm not entirely pissed that they are reporting on this phenomenon. My problem, is the complete lack of mocking. These people that think this are fucking morons. They are gone. You can not reason with these fucking people. I've given up on them. The only thing you can do is, at the very fucking least, don't LEGITIMATIZE their FUCKING INSANE POSITIONS. Jesus, Newsweek. 

Now, believing in the First Amendment like a good liberal, I don't have a problem with these people per se, but I don't want them getting serious attention. They need mocking attention. They need to be a sidebar to the wonderful things they are doing with psychotropic drugs these days. They are insane, or at the very least they are mislead, confused and need serious help. But it's a religious position, so it's off limits to criticism in polite society. 

So, not criticizing here just asking. And all I'm asking (and I know you people aren't reading this blog) if you actually hold the idea that the bible is 100% literally true and Obama is and/or may be the Antichrist, stop using our shit. And by OUR I mean the science people. Stop using our medicine. Stop watching our Televisions. Stop enjoying our movies with our fucking awesome special effects. You guys want to live in the Dark Ages, fine. Grab a sword, grab a bow and arrow and move into the fucking forest and live the dreams, you troglodytic fucks.  In fact, don't even grab a sword, it might be made of steel and steel requires SCIENCE!

Anyway...

Democrats!

Democrats. I'm not asking much. I'm not asking you to grow a pair. This would be too much to hope. You've tromped in two elections. You've got a lame duck president with an approval rating that would take first in the world limbo championship. You've got a President-Elect that has electrified people like nothing I've seen in my life.

And yet, NOTHING Happens To JOE. WTF? Again, you don't have to grow a pair. I'm just asking for one to drop. One ball. Come on. You can do it. CONCENTRATE.

Egad. This guy is in charge of the Homeland Security Committee. He is a total Hawk. This will come back to bite Obama on the ass.  I hope the White House is roomy inside, because if Obama really is keeping his friends close and enemies closer, now he has to find room to put all of you ball-less jack asses.

Anyway...

Congratulations, Alaska!

After being the home state of THE most Unqualified person for the Vice Presidency ever (and we're talking less qualified than Dan Quayle here, people), you have apparently now very narrowly managed to NOT vote in the first convicted felon to the Senate. You've had a big year. Take a bow. And a break. For a decade or two, please. The rest of us want to go back to thinking of you as an exotic land full of individualists, like Wolverine, pristine wilderness, majestic caribou and hidden caches of Oil that we can argue over, but never actually drill for.

Anyway...

Clowns.

Who approved this? 

For those who are too busy for links, the Big Apple Clowns rang the opening bell on Wall Street today. Are you fucking mocking us, Wall Street?  My 401k, already meager and laughable, is now reduced to Mad Max type wreckage and desolation thanks to you stupid fucks. Seriously. Clowns? For Christ's sake, people.

Anyway...

Fiscal Responsibility

This has been making the rounds on far more respectable blogs than this. Apparently CNBC has been kind enough to track all the money currently spent bailing out various ailing industries.  Apparently the total now spent is approximately 4.25 TRILLION FUCKING DOLLARS!

Now, I'm not even going to pretend I understand all this, I'm still working my way through Economics for Dummies.  Seriously, a good book for the dummies out there.

However, I do know this. From this point on if ever you find yourself in a conversation with a Republican and he says his party is the party of "Fiscal Responsibility" you can look him in the eye, give a little smile and say, "Shut your fucking pie hole." 

Anyway...

America's Mayor

So, Rudy is not ruling out a run for the White House in the future. Which begs the question, How FUCKING delusional is Rudy? Seriously. Does he talk to elves? Does he think drinking virgin blood cures cancer? Does he think bald is beautiful?

Rudy really doesn't sell well to anyone but that elusive group known as New York City Republicans, which, I'm told, tend to be be more socially liberal than your average Republican found loud and proud in the wilds of Alabama and Pennsyltucky. The Republican Party's antics have largely erased this group of social-liberals/fiscal-conservatives elsewhere over the years, or sent them screaming to the Libertarians. Now, clearly playing the hard conservative didn't work exceptionally well for McCain this year (despite the protests of Limbaugh), so perhaps in 4 or 8 years, depending on how Obama does, this group may grow. But right now, Rudy just doesn't test well. 

For those, like Rudy, who do not remember, Rudolph got his ass thumped like Tarzan's chest during the Republican Primaries. Let's have a little stroll through his greatest hits.

Rudy's Primary Record:

Iowa: 3%

New Hampshire: 9%

Michigan: 3%

Nevada: 4%

You get the idea. Rudy's high water mark was Florida (yep, only 3% in New York). He got 15%. Now for those who don't remember, Rudy hit Florida hard hoping to win so he could get some cred for Super Tuesday. And he STILL only got 15% and Rudy finally went home to the loving arms of his third wife and the warm bath of his personal delusions. 

Good luck, Rudy, I hope you run, I could use a good laugh.

Anyway...

Already worn out

It's clear that the media is already running the phrases "No drama Obama" and "a Team of Rivals" into the fucking ground.  Obama has been President-Elect for about 2 weeks now and already those phrases are like a sounding dog whistle drilling into my lizard brain. Soon will be the blackouts, the wakings in strange locations, the unexplainable blood on my clothes and face. Please, media, fucking stop.

However, I do have to say, unlike most media narratives, this one isn't all that terrible, even if the phrase is immediately annoying and only becoming more so. After the McCain Insane Clown Show and the Bush debacle in general, an unflappable president is making me giddy with excitement. Yes, giddy. 

Anyway...

The State List

I was hoping to write more today about how Awesome things have suddenly become in this world, however, the only think matching the enormity of Barack's win is, I believe, my hangover.

Anyway, once again a presidential election has helped crystalize my list of places I will never live, the current list:

Montana

Idaho

North Dakota

South Dakota

Wyoming

Utah

Arizona

Nebraska

Kansas

Oklahoma

Arkansas

West Virginia

Kentucky

Tennessee

South Carolina

Georgia

Alabama

Mississippi

And Texas and Louisiana, you're on notice, but you are saved my complete scorn by Austin and New Orleans, respectively.

And for all you Democrats with the misfortune of residing in those states, stay strong, but remember, things are so nice on the coast.

The Landslide, Part II

So, what would a new blog be without a electoral vote prediction. I have chosen to be optimistic; probably foolishly so, and over the next 12 hours we shall see. But, after 8 years of Bush and 2 years following this bitch of an election process, I got a right.

I predict Obama 375 to McCain 163. Yes, that's right I'm predicting an official landslide. To make this prediction I relied mostly on Slate.com and fivethirtyeight.com and their excellent prognosticative abilities. I gave Obama everything Strong Democrat and Leaning Democrat, the same for McCain (though, can McCain lose his home state? Nah, but it’s nice to think about. Com’on, Phoenix!)

So, that leaves the Toss Up states. I gave everything to Obama, with the exceptions of Montana, North Dakota and Georgia. I just can’t picture those going Democrat; I think they are just teasing me. The others, with higher urban populations I think are going Obama.

Why? Well, I don’t really believe in the Bradley Effect despite all the efforts from the (rightly) paranoid Left and the hopeful Right to turn it into this year’s boogie man. I’ve seen little efforts of the racists to hide their racism this cycle, so I doubt there’s much lying to pollsters going on. However, I think there are two other effects I do believe in at work.

First, I think the Cell Phone Only portion of the population has been under-polled and is going to swing OH and FL for sure, and probably VA and IN, to Obama. Haven’t seen too much reporting on this, probably because it could be good for the dems (again, left paranoid; and why would the right bring it up?), but what I have read suggests anywhere from a two to four percent swing in certain states. In a swing state that's huge.

Second, I think there is a bit of a bandwagon effect going on everywhere that will help people get over the trepidation of casting their vote for the tan man with the funny name.

Besides, FL & OH have screwed us all twice now, and if they mess this up, well...

So yep. Optimism. First time ever. Feels weird.

Anyway…

The Antichrist

I can't stress enough the collective fit the Howler Monkeys will have upon an Obama victory.

I think the insanity over Obama can be summed up with one little factoid. It is certainly not one of the more mainstream fears raised by the right, but it does exist. There are actual Americans that actually believe that Obama is the ACTUAL ANTICHRIST.

Now, I have been guilty of saying more than a few harsh things about George W. Bush. However, I, and I'd wager most any liberal you ask, does not believe anything as insane as George W. Bush being the ACTUAL Mother-fucking ANTI-CHRIST. He or she might think Bush is a horrible president, a repugnant human-being, a war-criminal, a drinker of newborn baby blood, but NOT the AntiChrist. And he's spent 8 long years trying Damn hard to prove it.

Basically, the Republican's have been tying their politics to Christian Fundamentalism for 40 years and these are the final fruits of their labors. After decades of these efforts a small minority of Republicans actually think the Democrats have nominated the most Evil Character in all of Christianity.

Now, if this view was held by only a few random cranks, I would just let it go. But I think this belief is more prevalent than any reasonable person would want to believe. Now, why do I think this? Because no less than Tim LaHaye, co-author of the incredibly popular, and just as poorly written, Left Behind series has weighed in on this issue. Tim LaHaye is a reigning expert on the Apocalypse, because he had the Vision to craft a work of pop fiction based on the book of Revelations. Yeah, that's never been done before, you original bastard. Christ.

So, when the question was put to him, "Could Barack Obama be the Anti-Christ?" Did he spit out whatever he was drinking? Did he laugh hysterically and sputter, "Of course not, you lunatic."? Did he stare at his inquisitor in dumbfounded fear, end the interview, and go home to quietly weep for the sad state of human affairs? No. Instead he actually replied saying:

"I can see by the language he uses why people think he could be the antichrist," adds LaHaye, "but from my reading of scripture, he doesn't meet the criteria. There is no indication in the Bible that the antichrist will be an American."

So, rest assured that no American citizen can be the antichrist, he can only say things that remind you of the antichrist, so says the grand prophet Tim LaHaye. Thank god. I was fucking worried there for a minute.

Anyway...

Dick (ahem) Cheney

Seriously. Does this guy even realize how unpopular he is? Couldn't they keep him chained up for Three more days?

I'll say one thing about Bush, at least he's had the good sense to mostly keep his nose out of this election.

Buffalo

Growing up in north central PA without cable, most of the news I was exposed to came out of Buffalo. And I got to see those poor bastards go to four consecutive Super Bowls and each year have their collective balls nailed to the wall. Not being a Buffalo fan it was wonderful. 

For those who do not know, coma victims, amnesiacs, the thing about Buffalo is that they are insane about their football. And in the run-up to each contest there would be lights and decorations and bragging and on the local TV stations they would run congratulation and good luck ads from the local newscasters and, naturally, it would be nearly the lone subject of the sports newscast.

However, after each loss, nothing. I honestly can't even remember the Buffalo news reporting the loss. It was as if the Super Bowl had never occurred. 

Now, the question is, tomorrow, if by some miracle Obama wins,  well, will Fox News just go on pretending that the election never happened? Will they pretend John McCain won? Will they pretend Bush was crowned King? 

I guess we just have to wait and see.

Anyway...

The Landslide

This is the part where I beg everyone who reads this in the next 24 hours to get your ass out and vote. (Unless you're voting McCain, then you know, if you feel you HAVE to, go ahead.)

Unlike most, probably smarter, Democrats I am fairly confident McCain will get his flabby ass handed to him tomorrow. However, this is not enough in the world we live in.  In 2004 when Bush won re-election the howler monkeys went crazy about how he finally had a mandate.  The Chimp had finally been legitimately elected. What was his Mandate? Bush won by 3 million votes, 34 electoral votes, and this works out to about 1.5 percent of ALL the votes cast. 

Trust me, a 1.5% win is NOT enough for a legitimate Obama victory. The Howler Monkeys have already begun to convince everyone that this election is illegitimate and has been stolen by that swarthy man they have running on the Democratic ticket. Obama needs to Crush McCain. He needs to beat him like a Gong. So, no matter what state you live in vote for Obama. 

The upshot of all this is that no matter WHAT happens the Howlers will howl. But Hannity, O'Reilly and their ilk will look FAR more ridiculous trying to claim that the democrats stole the election if Obama crushes McCain.  Given the modern standard I figure 350 E.V. and 7% of the popular vote should do it. So get your ass out there and pump those numbers.

Anyway...

Why?

One more goddamn, narcissistic, navel-gazing asshole. 

Why, you may ask.  Surely the world does not need one more blog. I agree. But I'm bored and haven't been writing lately, and by lately I refer to loosely the last decade, give or take the odd week.

So, why is it called The Last 300 Days?  A better question. Originally this was meant to be a chronicle of the last 300 days of the Bush administration and all the various things he was doing to piss me off. Currently the Chimp in Chief is on about day 77 and counting (WHY does this country give the Chief Executive 2 1/2 months to screw up after we boot his ass out?) As you can see I have not been doing a good job of keeping up, however I still like the last 300 days. 

It occurred to me that even after the predicted Obama victory things will stay interesting. There is a lot of pressure on him to walk the waters from the left and a lot of people on the right hoping for him to crash and burn and slinging gasoline to help the process. 

Besides. Maybe the Apocalypse is nigh and 300 days from now we will be watching the holy being yanked bodily into the light and the rest of us writhing down as the earth splits wide and demons run amuck.  Hey, you don't know.  Or maybe McCain will actually win. Same difference.

Well, anyway...