Monday, November 3, 2008

The Antichrist

I can't stress enough the collective fit the Howler Monkeys will have upon an Obama victory.

I think the insanity over Obama can be summed up with one little factoid. It is certainly not one of the more mainstream fears raised by the right, but it does exist. There are actual Americans that actually believe that Obama is the ACTUAL ANTICHRIST.

Now, I have been guilty of saying more than a few harsh things about George W. Bush. However, I, and I'd wager most any liberal you ask, does not believe anything as insane as George W. Bush being the ACTUAL Mother-fucking ANTI-CHRIST. He or she might think Bush is a horrible president, a repugnant human-being, a war-criminal, a drinker of newborn baby blood, but NOT the AntiChrist. And he's spent 8 long years trying Damn hard to prove it.

Basically, the Republican's have been tying their politics to Christian Fundamentalism for 40 years and these are the final fruits of their labors. After decades of these efforts a small minority of Republicans actually think the Democrats have nominated the most Evil Character in all of Christianity.

Now, if this view was held by only a few random cranks, I would just let it go. But I think this belief is more prevalent than any reasonable person would want to believe. Now, why do I think this? Because no less than Tim LaHaye, co-author of the incredibly popular, and just as poorly written, Left Behind series has weighed in on this issue. Tim LaHaye is a reigning expert on the Apocalypse, because he had the Vision to craft a work of pop fiction based on the book of Revelations. Yeah, that's never been done before, you original bastard. Christ.

So, when the question was put to him, "Could Barack Obama be the Anti-Christ?" Did he spit out whatever he was drinking? Did he laugh hysterically and sputter, "Of course not, you lunatic."? Did he stare at his inquisitor in dumbfounded fear, end the interview, and go home to quietly weep for the sad state of human affairs? No. Instead he actually replied saying:

"I can see by the language he uses why people think he could be the antichrist," adds LaHaye, "but from my reading of scripture, he doesn't meet the criteria. There is no indication in the Bible that the antichrist will be an American."

So, rest assured that no American citizen can be the antichrist, he can only say things that remind you of the antichrist, so says the grand prophet Tim LaHaye. Thank god. I was fucking worried there for a minute.

Anyway...

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